- Colin Mochrie: [in "Weird Newscasters"] Our top story tonight: A man is still in critical condition after swallowing $250,000 in large bills. No change is expected.
- Greg Proops: [in "Weird Newscasters"]
- [playing a German insult comic]
- Greg Proops: I will dominate you!
- Colin Mochrie: You've yet to win a war. All right...
- [audience cheers]
- Greg Proops: And yet, and yet you drive a BMW.
- [laughs]
- Greg Proops: We von!
- Drew Carey: [after "Weird Newscasters"]
- [commenting on Wayne's quirk, "Girl Scout selling cookies who's possessed by the evil"]
- Drew Carey: Well, y'know, this is gonna be- sound funny, but you're not the first Girl Scout I've seen possessed by the devil.
- Ryan Stiles: Those weren't real Girl Scouts; those were girls you paid to PRETEND they were Girl Scouts.
- Drew Carey: Tell your wife I said "hello".
- [audience oohs]
- Drew Carey: Let's just stop this; I love you, man.
- Colin Mochrie: Hey come on, make fun of the bald guy!
- [Drew and Ryan laugh]
- Colin Mochrie: I'LL be your lightning rod of hate!
- Ryan Stiles: [amused] Lightning rod of hate...
- Drew Carey: You asked for it; the next game is for... Ryan and Baldy!
- Drew Carey: [after "Action Replay", where Colin landed on his battery pack after being held upside down by Ryan] Are you... are you okay?
- Colin Mochrie: I'm fine, Drew, thank you, I've just lost my battery pack somewhere in the area of my buttocks.
- [audience laughs]
- Colin Mochrie: That's okay, my pack is halfway up my ass.
- Ryan Stiles: [singing in a country style, with Greg joining in] "My pack is halfway up my ass..."
- Drew Carey: [chuckles] Oh my God. Are you sure you're okay?
- Colin Mochrie: I'm fine.
- Drew Carey: Okay.
- Colin Mochrie: I'm getting the feeling back in my legs.
- Drew Carey: The look on your face, you were like,
- [makes a pained expression]
- Drew Carey: "Agh!" Oh man. A thousand chiropractor points to you. Oh man, that was really fun- I don't know why I laugh when you get hurt so much.
- [laughs]
- Colin Mochrie: [Colin pretends to be a "lightning rod of hate" again] "Ah, the bald guy. Ah ha ha!"
- Drew Carey: [laughing while talking] I know, it's just so funny... you fell down, you're like, "Agh!"
- Ryan Stiles: [to Colin] You want to throw one of my blue shoes at him?
- Drew Carey: [in "Scenes from a Hat"] "Versions of Hell other than eternal flames."
- Ryan Stiles: All right, that's a thousand points, it's time for "Hoedown".
- Colin Mochrie: Let's hear that "Yentl" soundtrack one more time.
- [pretends to be a "lighting rod of hate" again]
- Greg Proops: [miming driving] Mississippi... I'm still in Mississippi.
- Wayne Brady: Mississippi... I'M still in Mississippi.
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Scenes from a Hat", the suggestion being "Famous film scenes as performed by cartoon characters"]
- [as Snagglepuss]
- Colin Mochrie: Rosebud, even!
- Drew Carey: Hey, I just want to send a special note out to, uh, Anna Nicole Smith. If you're watching, I liked you before, but now that you're rich, I LOVE you.
- [audience laughs]
- Drew Carey: And the best part about it, Anna Nicole, is I'm older than you are too.