- Drew Carey: [in "Scenes from a Hat"] "Words that sound dirty, but aren't."
- Brad Sherwood: I'd like an order of futtbucker.
- Wayne Brady: [crows like a rooster] I'm Farmer Dick, and this is my prized cock.
- Colin Mochrie: Yeah, I'll have a... double rock-sucker with a punt on the side.
- Drew Carey: [in "Hoedown", about family reunions]
- [singing]
- Drew Carey: All this talk about relatives, it really makes me queasy. / I don't like to talk about my family, it makes me a little uneasy. / I have just one question, can you help me please? / Am I adopted? 'Cause my family's all Chinese.