- Colin Mochrie: [in "Hollywood Director"] As Rodgers and Hammerstein said, "The hills are alive with the sound of CRAP!"
- Drew Carey: [after "Hollywood Director"] Two thousand points to Kathy Griffin for kissing Ryan.
- Kathy Griffin: Yeah!
- Colin Mochrie: I never get two thousand points for kissing him.
- Drew Carey: That's 'cause you LIKE to kiss him.
- Ryan Stiles: It's gotta be on the SHOW.
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Scenes from a Hat", the suggestion is "World's worst thing to say the first time you see someone naked."] Who's... Jake? And Phil? And Gary? And Howard? And Jim? And Steve? And Drew? And Carol-
- [walks off stage]