Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV Series)

Show No. 7003 (2005)

Ryan Stiles: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ryan Stiles : [in "Award Show", Ryan and Colin win the award for best bitter divorce] 

  [grabbing a random audience member on the way to the stage] 

  Ryan Stiles : Thank you. I brought my lawyer with me.

  Colin Mochrie : Thank God, 'cause we're sleeping together now.

  Ryan Stiles : You're sleeping with my husband?

  [audience member says, "I'm sorry."] 

  Ryan Stiles : How does THAT work out? Return, please.

  [audience member returns to his seat] 

  Ryan Stiles : Well.

  [to Colin, quietly] 

  Ryan Stiles : You're gonna be the wife?

• Colin Mochrie : [in "Award Show", about best bitter divorce]  I've just never seen you move this much.

  Ryan Stiles : Maybe if you had some HAIR...

  [audience oohs] 

  Ryan Stiles : go ahead.

  Colin Mochrie : You BITCH.

  Ryan Stiles : [to audience]  Anyway, thank you!

  Colin Mochrie : [to audience]  Thank you very much.

• Colin Mochrie : [in "Infomercial", about how to stop drinking] 

  [holding a grill lighter] 

  Colin Mochrie : Sometimes, we have to go the hard way. Sometimes, we have to pull the drink right out of you. And, using Ryan as my willing test subject, I'll show you just exactly how that happens. Why don't we do it in the mouth this time?

  [sticks the grill lighter in Ryan's mouth] 

  Drew Carey : [nervously]  No, no no no, NO! No no no... don't do that.

  [Colin removes the grill lighter; Ryan looks at Drew] 

  Drew Carey : It makes flame, that thing. It's supposed to.

  Colin Mochrie : [winds the grill lighter; nothing happens]  No, it's fine.

  Ryan Stiles : It's all right!

  [Ryan tosses the grill lighter on the floor] 

  Ryan Stiles : SOMEONE wants their own show.

  [Colin makes a mock "oops" expression] 

  Drew Carey : [Drew buzzes to end the game; Ryan and Colin return to their seats]  I wasn't kidding about that thing, I've seen it in catalogs, it's for lightin' flames for, like, when you're outdoors, or for your fireplaces. Well, he was puttin' it right in your mouth, and he was about to crank it, and I was like, "Whoa!"

  Ryan Stiles : If I had a nickle for every time THAT'S happened.

• Ryan Stiles : [in "Irish Drinking Song", about a first car] 

  [singing] 

  Ryan Stiles : But, I found a girl who loved it.

  Wayne Brady : [singing]  I found a girl who liked my car.

  Greg Proops : [singing]  Her name was Macer.

  Colin Mochrie : [singing]  She didn't run very far.

  Ryan Stiles : [singing]  She wanted to be in it.

  Wayne Brady : [singing]  She loved the leather.

  Greg Proops : [singing]  That's when I married her.

  Colin Mochrie : [singing]  She took her thong off in any weather!

• Ryan Stiles : [in Infomercial]  Give your liver a break! Liver let die!