- [Brodie is engaged in a shootout with an outlaw gang when Prometheus arrives]
- Brodie Hollister: Where you been?
- Prometheus Jones: It was early - I was sleepin'. You didn't tell me we were going to have choir practice this morning!
- Fake Annie Oakley: I hope you and I get to waste some ammunition together. I remember you had a real sharpshooter's eye.
- Brodie Hollister: I don't know about that, ma'am. I was always kind of a pennypincher at that sideshow shootin' stuff.
- Prometheus Jones: Go on, do it! It'll be fun.
- [Brodie elbows Prometheus into silence]
- Fake Annie Oakley: You know where our camp is. Anytime you get the urge, come on out. Nothing would please me more than to see you with a gun in your hand and three balls in the air!
- Brodie Hollister: Likewise, ma'am.
- Fake Annie Oakley: Until we draw a bead together...
- [discussing the arrogant Spanish Ambassador]
- Bannister Sparks: I don't like him.
- Governor J. Wendell Summerhayes: You don't have to, Bannister. If everything goes smoothly, that man can prevent a war. We all know about war, gentlemen, don't we?
- [Brodie and the fake Annie Oakley are shooting at bottles]
- Fake Annie Oakley: Nice! You squeeze an easy trigger for a man with big hands.
- Brodie Hollister: You weren't exactly countin' petals on a petunia, darlin'.
- Fake Annie Oakley: What I do is a trick. Unlike you, when I shoot I don't have to worry about anything. Pots, pans and bottles hardly ever shoot back.
- Brodie Hollister: What's the matter, Prometheus? You all right?
- Varges De La Cosa: Sitting Bull just insulted him for no reason.
- Brodie Hollister: Well now, isn't that interestin'. Annie Oakley just tried to get me to church all serious - for no reason.
- Bannister Sparks: Brodie, you say that as if there isn't any such thing as *for no reason*.
- Brodie Hollister: With this Wild West crowd, do you?
- Varges De La Cosa: May I have some time to speak with you, Alice?
- Alice Freeze: Please. I'm your mortician. You can confide me as if I were your barber.
- Varges De La Cosa: How do you do it? You keep such joy in this job.
- Alice Freeze: I've got everything - career of my dreams, great location, wonderful clients...
- Varges De La Cosa: Doesn't anything ever bring you despair?
- Alice Freeze: I see a whole lot of different people in my work and let me tell you... most of 'em are afraid of ever being happy. Sometimes I think they got it in their minds that God himself is looking down on us and if he sees too much joy in our life, he hits 'em with a dirt clod, so they stay unhappy just so God will pass 'em by.
- Varges De La Cosa: It makes no sense, huh? To be unhappy to prepare yourself in case you are unhappy.
- Alice Freeze: That's it in a nutshell. You see, you've got to stop listening to that dark hum that sticks in your gut like fried food and start listening to the wind and chuckles from outside and the sunshine. So... what did you want to talk about.
- Varges De La Cosa: ...I forgot now - thanks to you.
- [discussing Cally after she escaped from the fake Buffalo Bill and his men]
- Captain Angus Flint: She's gone. I can't find her and nobody else has seen her.
- Fake Buffalo Bill: Ah, that's perfect. I made sure she overheard me when I gave order to take Father Crool out to Pawnee Flats and dump him. I trust she's delivered the message to her five friends by now.
- Captain Angus Flint: That means that the Chamber of Commerce of Wildside will not be with us for quite a while
- Fake Buffalo Bill: If everything goes according to plan, they'll be killed about the same time as the ambassador from Spain is shot. That's the symmetry that only death can provide.
- [the wagon in which Father Crool is tied up flees at high speed when the driver spots Wildside's Chamber of Commerce riding up]
- Brodie Hollister: What do you think, Bannister?
- Bannister Sparks: I'm thinking we're being led into an ambush.
- Brodie Hollister: All right, let's go be reckless
- [Prometheus has just rescued a blind priest from a wagonload of exploding dynamite]
- Father Crool: Prometheus, thank you.!
- Prometheus Jones: Hey, you'd have done the same for me.
- Father Crool: [to Varges] Prometheus is the only man I know who winks so hard you can hear it.
- [discussing a medal of the Madonna that stopped a bullet aimed at Varges' heart]
- Father Crool: Give me the medal.
- Varges De La Cosa: What?
- Father Crool: The medal your mother gave you - the one that saved your life. I remember the day she gave you this. She loved you very much.
- Varges De La Cosa: And I loved her.
- Father Crool: And when she died, you said farewell with great dignity and sadness. Well, I think it's time you said farewell again. You see, you haven't lost any skill. You've gone for a few days without much belief in yourself. You've been thinking about her a lot because of what happened to the medal. You had doubts. Was I a good enough son? Am I a good enough friend? Bury those, Varges! Bury them now.
- [Father Crool "blesses" the burial of the medal as the rest of the Chamber of Commerce rides up]
- [after shooting the gunbelt and hat off the fake Annie Oakley]
- Brodie Hollister: You know, if I had about eight more bullets, this would get real interesting.