Robin Hoff: Alice Freeze

Quotes 

• [during baseball practice] 

  Elliot Thogmorton : Strike!

  Alice Freeze : What?

  Father Crool : I could hearr that ball teasing with the devil himself it was that close to the ground. Are you blind?

  Elliot Thogmorton : Strike three. You're out, Father.

  Alice Freeze : You know, back in my undertaking parlor, we're having a sale on caskets for obnoxious tall people.

• [while looking for Alice Freeze in her undertaker parlor, Varges hears a bell ring, then sees a coffin lid slowly open to reveal Alice inside] 

  Alice Freeze : Hi there! Really somethin', don't you think?

  Varges De La Cosa : What is?

  Alice Freeze : Well, you see, is you ever wake up in here before we plant you, pull this chain...

  [she does and the bell rings] 

  Alice Freeze : [laughing]  ... and we know we made a terrible mistake.

  Varges De La Cosa : [chuckles grimly]  Why are you in there?

  Alice Freeze : Why, I'd hate to sell this to someone and find out it doesn't work. Could you imagine? They'd be awful perturbed.