Wonderfalls (TV Series)

Caged Bird (2004)

Jeffrey R. Smith: Wade Jones

Quotes 

• Wade Jones : It is kinda creepy, isn't it? Getting a murderer's heart?

  Jaye Tyler : Eh, it's an anecdote.

  Wade Jones : I don't think the man was evil. He did have a donor sticker. It takes thought and effort to be an organ donor.

  Jaye Tyler : Especially considering what they say about paramedics.

  Wade Jones : I'm just grateful I got a new heart after you made the old one explode in my chest. All that talk about being a hero, I could have died. I hope you've learned a lesson about playing games with people's lives.

  [leaving, he passes by Alec] 

  Wade Jones : Hey, you wanna see my scar?

  Alec : Awesome!

  Jaye Tyler : Or you could say "thank you"!

• Jaye Tyler : [spying on store shoppers]  Go for the sunglasses. Abort the cage and go for the glasses. You could fit, like, a dozen in each sleeve.

  [chuckling, she sees the security guard isn't laughing] 

  Jaye Tyler : Hypothetically.

  Wade Jones : The idea is we don't want them to steal.

  Jaye Tyler : You don't understand. This is as fun as it gets these days. I can't even go out for a drink anymore.

  Wade Jones : How long you been sober?

  Jaye Tyler : Oh, I'm not sober. I'm in love with a bartender, and he just re-married his wife, so that makes things awkward.

  [returning her attention to the shoppers] 

  Jaye Tyler : He's eyeing the Slinky. You know, he has to steal, like, four of those for me to even get a dollar.

  Wade Jones : Is this one of those stores that gives its employees a cash bonus when they apprehend a shoplifter?

  Jaye Tyler : Ten percent of whatever they were gonna steal. One time, I "accidentally" left the watch case open, and I got, like, 500 bucks.

  [the kid puts the Slinky in his pants] 

  Jaye Tyler : Slinky in the pants, aisle three.

  Wade Jones : Roger that.

  Jaye Tyler : No, wait! Wait! We should wait! He might steal more and be more guilty.

  Wade Jones : Why? Is the watch case unlocked?

  Jaye Tyler : [reluctant]  Fine! We can catch him now.

• Wade Jones : His heart was the only thing that wasn't pulverized. They took it out of him and put it into me.

  Shoplift Kid : You got the heart of a murderer? Are you gonna start killing people now?

  Wade Jones : I can't kill anybody. I have to avoid strenuous activity.

  Shoplift Kid : You can't even chase me if I steal something?

  Wade Jones : Probably not for another month.

  [the kid takes a souvenir from a shelf] 

  Wade Jones : Hey, don't you...

  [groaning as he stands up] 

  Wade Jones : Ooh.

  Jaye Tyler : [stopping the kid and taking the item back]  Hey! Out!