- Groucho Marx: What do you consider a funny joke?
- Aki Aleong: Well, um, I was reading one the other day, and, um, well... What did the two flies say, after they flew off of Robinson Crusoe?
- Groucho Marx: I haven't the faintest idea.
- Aki Aleong: Well, they said, "So long. See you on Friday."
- Francis X. Bushman: [at age 75] I live for today, and I'm looking forward to the future.
- Groucho Marx: Well, that's a very sensible philosophy, Francis. I, on the other hand, am looking forward to tomorrow - because tomorrow I make my last payment on my garbage disposal. It's been quite a grind, but that's all down the drain.