A Bit of Fry and Laurie (TV Series)

Pilot (1987)

Stephen Fry: Various

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hugh : But did you enjoy their criticism?

  Stephen : Oh, I loved it. I wanted to go to bed with it and kiss it in many soft, private, little places.

• Stephen : Landlord, I'll have two foaming pints of your most homosexual beer, thank you.

  Hugh : Oh, and a packet of arse bandits as well.

• Hugh : Oh, well, it's because I'm deaf, sir, that my sense of vision is naturally enhanced. Blind people are known to have very keen hearing. So they sort of cancel each other out, sir.

  Stephen : You mean you can see and hear perfectly?

  Hugh : Yes, because I'm blind and deaf.

• Hugh : "My word, Jane," I used to say to my wife, "the garden's looking very homosexual this morning."

  Stephen : Quite right. Quite right. Lovely word.

• Stephen : I think it was Donald Mainstock, the great amateur squash player, who pointed out how lovely I was. Until that time, I think it was safe to say that I had never really been aware of my own timeless brand of loveliness. But his words smote me because, of course you see, I am lovely in a fluffy moist kind of a way and who would have it otherwise? I walk, let's be splendid about this, in a lightly accented cloud of gorgeousness that isn't far short of being, quite simply, terrific. The secret of smooth almost shiny loveliness of the order of which we're discussing in this simple, frank, creamy soft way doesn't reside in oils, unguents, balms, ointments, creams, astringents, milks, moisturisers, liniments, lubricants, embrocations or balsams, to be rather divine for just one noble moment. It resides, and I mean this in a pink, slightly special way, in one's attitude of mind. To be gorgeous and high and true and fine and fluffy and moist and sticky and lovely, all you have to do is believe that one is gorgeous and high and true and fine and fluffy and moist and sticky and lovely. And I believe it of myself, tremulously at first, and then with mounting heat and passion because, stopping off for a second to be super again, I'm so often told it. That's the secret really.