- [after swallowing an orange seed, Zack is sprouting leaves from his ears and getting taller]
- Spencer Sharpe: Zack, we have to find a way to stop your inner tree from growing.
- Zack Greenburg: No way, Spence. This is working for me. I feel great. Just last night, I grew two inches.
- Spencer Sharpe: Zack, I've been talking with the top guys at the Sealton Juice Company. They say taking care of an orange tree isn't easy. Zack - what if you start bearing fruit?
- [Gwen shows up in the boys' locker room to encourage support for the basketball tryouts]
- Vernon Manteuffel: Skirt alert - skirt alert!
- Gwendolyn 'Gwen' Killerby: Oh, please. You didn't impress me on the court, you're not going to impress me here.
- [Gwen is in charge of drumming up school spirit]
- Gwendolyn 'Gwen' Killerby: Manteuffel... Dickie... You'll do. Squad meeting. Now.
- Vernon Manteuffel: Ummm... squad?
- Gwendolyn 'Gwen' Killerby: As in cheerleading? Hello! Someone has to cheer Horace Hyde on to victory.
- Vernon Manteuffel: My stuff is at the cleaners.
- Christopher Dickie: Uhhh, funeral, to attend, all week.