ALF (TV Series)

Funeral for a Friend (1989)

Paul Fusco: ALF

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Brian Tanner : What's this one called?

  ALF : A platypus.

  Brian Tanner : It's ugly.

  ALF : Bri, I'm looking for a pet, not a date to the prom.

• Willie Tanner : If you want I could get you another ant farm.

  ALF : Right, and if Kate kicks, I'll get you another redhead.

  Willie Tanner : [in social worker mode]  I know it's hard for you to believe right now... but tomorrow you're gonna feel better... and then the next day you'll feel even better... until one day, you'll actually... feel better.

  ALF : Are you sure this is the area you're trained in?

• Brian Tanner : Hey, ALF.

  Lynn Tanner : Hey, ALF.

  ALF : [in cowboy outfit]  Well, if it isn't the Tanner kids. What brings you two to this neck of the attic?

  Lynn Tanner : We just wanted to ask how your ant farm was going.

  ALF : So ask.

  Brian Tanner : How's it going?

  ALF : Don't ask.

• ALF : Aah! Ah! My poor little goombas. An hour ago they were working the farm!

  Willie Tanner : And now they've bought it.

• ALF : It's just that ant-farming has a tendency to be uneventful. Sort of like working security at a Pat Boone concert.

• Willie Tanner : Be honest now, ALF. Aren't you glad I got you that ant farm instead of some silly old horse?

  ALF : Let's be realistic, Willie. A horse is a horse.

  Willie Tanner : Of course.

  ALF : Of course.

• [last lines] 

  Lynn Tanner : Wait. There's more. Uh,

  [reading letter] 

  Lynn Tanner : "We are, however, very interested in having you appear on an upcoming segment entitled 'Obsessive Compulsives With Too Much Time On Their Hands.'"

  ALF : And Willie said I was crazy to send that letter.