Rob Reiner: Michael 'Meathead' Stivic

Quotes 

• Mike Stivic : Arch, what did your Cousin Oscar die of?

  Archie : I think he died of bad feet.

  Mike Stivic : Nobody dies of bad feet.

  Archie : I dunno, he was always complaining that his feet were killing him, so...

• [Mike has climbed into bed with Archie and accidentally spilled water on him] 

  Archie : You got into bed with me to do this here?

  Mike Stivic : It was an accident.

  Archie : With Little Joey it's an accident. With you, it's a dishonorable discharge.

• Mike Stivic : I'm sorry to get you out of bed.

  Edith Bunker : Oh that's all right, we was only sleeping.

  Archie : [Annoyed]  You don't have to explain to him whatyacall our private-cies there... .What if we wasn't sleepin? Would you give him a rundown on all the frolics?

• Mike Stivic : Gloria said I ruined her life.

  Archie Bunker : I told her the same thing seven years ago.

• Mike Stivic : Your spelling is atrocious.

  Gloria Stivic : Atrocious?

  Mike Stivic : Yeah, can you spell that?

  Gloria Stivic : Atrocious. M-E-A-T-H-E-A-D. Atrocious.

• Mike Stivic : You were right, Honey, I am a meathead. Not only that, I'm a pompous ass.