Pat Harrington Jr.: Dwayne F. Schneider

Quotes 

• Barbara Cooper : By any chance, do you happen to be a little bit religious?

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Oh, absolutely... Oh, yeah, really, I am. I mean, ah, well, I seen "The Robe", "Ten Commandments", "Sound of Music" twice. Y'know what was my greatest thrill - "The Agony and the Ecstasy". Huh? All right. Remember the part, Carlton Heston is paintin' the Sistine Chapel for Pope Julius...

  Ann Romano : Michelangelo.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Pope Michelangelo, and he's up there in the rafters, see, and he's paintin', he's paintin', he's been up there for a couple-a years, OK, now... the Pope comes in, right, and the Pope sees him up there paintin' away, see, and the Pope says...

  Barbara Cooper : When I said 'paint that ceiling', I meant blue.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : [miffed, Schneider walks slowly toward the door, then turns and speaks very slowly]  You... stole... my... punch... line.