Married... with Children (TV Series)

Johnny Be Gone (1987)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : Hurry up, Bud. Never wanted to get married - I'm married, never wanted to have kids - I got two of 'em. How the hell did this happen?

• Al : Kelly, there were plenty of parties I wasn't invited to when I was a kid.

  Marcy Rhoades : There's a mystery.

  Al : Here's another one: What the hell's holding that towel up? So to continue, Kelly, I just showed up. I just stood there, big smile on my face, I said, "I'm here!" and went straight for the food. Well, sure they didn't want me there, but I had a great time. And if they didn't, too bad. The important thing is you wanna be there, be there. Even if they hate you. You're a Bundy! Start acting like one!

• Al : [glaring at everyone]  I have an announcement to make: SHUT UP.

• Bud : Nice to spend these father-son moments together, Dad.

  Al : Shut up, I'm trying to read. Oh great, this is Japanese. Oh, here we go. Er, 'Achtung hier hat der kab'. These aren't instructions, it's the history of World War Two. Ah. Here it is, er, 'Attention vous avez'. Oh hell. More people we should have killed. Where's American? Er, here it is, here it is. 'Battery check before to put cable on be sure'.

• Al : [Assembling a toy car]  All right, I put the red terminal in the la conduire. Oh, my friends the French again. Conductor. Why don't they just say "Put the red wire in the hole"? Oh here it is, put the red wire in the hole.

• Al : Here, Peg, you go, and have a good time.

  Peggy : Aww, that's sweet Al, but I can't go without you. My memories of Johnny B Goodes are of us being together.

  Al : I'm glad to hear you say that Peg, because I had no intention of giving you this ticket.

• Bud : Dad, why is Mrs. Rhoades wearing a towel?

  Al : Bud, do you want to hear a long, boring story about a short, boring woman or do you want your car fixed?

• [Marcy is looking for a fish eye that fell off a large broiled haddock while wearing only a towel] 

  Marcy Rhoades : Do you see a fish eye down there?

  Al : No, but I see a chicken leg.

• Peggy : Wait a minute, Al. We can't go with Kelly like this.

  Al : Why not? Life will stink tomorrow. I know mine will.

• Al : [into the phone]  Hello, Spike? It's Al again. Is No-Jaw Mackenzie there? Yeah, the girl with no jaw. Is she there? Okay, great. Listen... something came up again and I can't make Number 50. Now, she's got ticket Number 110. Tell her that I'll trade my Number 50 for hers. Great, thanks. Yeah, rock and roll forever... something. Bye!

  [hangs up] 

• Al : [into the phone]  Hello? Johnny Be Goods? Who's this? Hey, Spike. It's Al. You got a minute?

  [pause] 

  Al : The hell with the People magazine interview! You gotta do me a favor. You know my friend Fat Charlie? Yeah, the fat one. He's got ticket Number 50 and I got Number 8. Would you mind if I traded with him? Great! Would you go out in the parking lot and tell him? Yeah, fine. I'll get there when I can. Yeah, rock and roll forever! Bye!

  [hangs up]