- [after Mr. Mortman was eaten alive, the parents still have sharp teeth]
- Mr. Dark: [to Lucy and Randy] Now, listen, both of you. You can never, ever let anyone know that we are monsters.
- Lucy Dark: We know that.
- Mrs. Dark: And we can't have any monsters in town either.
- Mr. Dark: And do you know why?
- Lucy Dark: Because they might tell other people about us.
- [Mr. and Mrs. Dark's teeth revert to normal]
- Randy Dark: And they'd be frightened, and they'd chase us away.
- Mr. Dark: Or worse...
- [Mr. Dark sprays Mrs. Dark's mouth with mint]
- Mr. Dark: Mr. Mortman was the first monster to come around in 20 years.
- Lucy Dark: [smiles] Besides us, of course.
- Mrs. Dark: That's why it took so long to believe you, Lucy.
- Mr. Dark: [reads his newspaper] And when you two get bigger, you're gonna get your training fangs.
- Mrs. Dark: That's right. Before long, you and Randy will be able to transform just like your father and me.
- Mr. Mortman: [talking to his pet tarantulas, which he keeps in Mason jars] It's dinner time my furry friends...
- [in a baby-voice]
- Mr. Mortman: Ooh, aren't you hungry? Munch-munch!
- [laughs creepily]
- Mr. Mortman: Some crunchy crickets, my little friends?
- Lucy Dark: [about Mr. Mortman] His eyes popped outta his head, and he was eating bugs! And everyone here thinks I'm making it up!
- Aaron: [incredulous] Gee, I wonder why.
- Lucy Dark: What? You don't believe me, either?
- Aaron: calm down, Lucy. You're totally obsessed.
- Lucy Dark: [Sarcastic] Whoo, big word... well, you'll believe me soon enough. I'll prove it to you.
- Mr. Mortman: Nice to see you again, young Randy. Will you be joining us for Reading Rangers this year?
- Randy Dark: [apprehensive] ... Can I sleep on it?
- Lucy Dark: [Rants puts his foot in the plants] Randy! Haven't you ever heard of the Razortooth Toebitter?
- Randy Dark: Whatta mean 'Toebitter'?
- Lucy Dark: It got Becky and Layla next door. While they're playing in they're wading pool.
- Randy Dark: Couldn't they see it coming?
- Lucy Dark: Toebitter can camouflage itself as anything, even water.
- Randy Dark: You're lying!
- Lucy Dark: Ask Becky to take off her shoe. She'll show you. Ask her.
- [Lucky walks in the plants]
- Randy Dark: Don't use your foot!
- [she keeps walking in the plants]
- Lucy Dark: Do it real quick.
- [Lucky screams]
- Lucy Dark: Get away!
- [Lucky keeps screaming]
- Lucy Dark: Aaron, you ever notice anything weird about Mortman? Like his creepy, beady little eyes!
- Aaron: And his sweaty little hands!
- Lucy Dark: When he gave me my book, It was so slimy, I almost dropped it.
- Aaron: Yeah?
- [makes sound of disgust]
- Lucy Dark: Oh, my blades, I forgot them at the library.
- Aaron: Aw, man, I gotta get home.
- Lucy Dark: Oh no big deal, I'll see you later.