- [last lines]
- Gerry Standing: Tell you what, Jack, you've still got those sores on your face.
- Jack Halford: Sores? What sores?
- Gerry Standing: Very kind of you. I'll have a pint.
- [first lines]
- Brian Lane: Now, we've got to be ruthless, Scruffy. Ester wants this clutter halved. So... come on, let's crack on. Now. Right. Chest expanders.
- Gerry Standing: Same old story, ain't it! The great British public care more about animals than people.
- Jack Halford: That's why it's the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and only the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.
- Gerry Standing: Hey, Brian, look, one dog year equals seven human years, right?
- Brian Lane: Once they're fully grown.
- Gerry Standing: Well, I've just been looking at the victims of the original investigation and look at this: 13-year-old pit bull, 11-year-old mastiff, 12-year-old ridgeback, 13-year-old Doberman.
- Gerry Standing: [after Jack helps him on with his Coat] Oh, cheers!
- Gerry Standing: What I'm saying is these dogs are practically geriatric. I mean, what's so special about old dogs?