- [Props]
- Ryan Stiles: [using a length of foam roll as a pair of binoculars] That looks like a German U-boat!
- [buzzer]
- Mike McShane: [holding up two horse-shoe-shaped objects] No! *This* looks like a German U-boat!
- [World's Worst things to see while flipping through channels]
- Ryan Stiles: Oh, that looks like me with a knife behind his...
- [Ryan suddenly does a take and looks behind]
- Mike McShane: [as if going through adults-only channels] Ooh, ooh baby! Ooh yeah! Oh yeah - MOM?
- Tony Slattery: [deadpan] It's Anne Diamond.
- Mike McShane: It's the OJ Simpson trial - Year 25-26!
- Greg Proops: [impersonating John Major] My name is John Major, and I...
- [buzz]
- Ryan Stiles: [as if in a trance] No, I won't turn the channel, Satan.
- Mike McShane: Hi, we're back to the Serial Killers Home Shopping Network, and look at these knives.
- Greg Proops: [as an alien] Citizens of Earth, remain in your homes.
- [Greg cracks up]
- Greg Proops: [as Clive buzzes him] Send me...
- Ryan Stiles: [singing while pinching at his chest] They're nipples, identical nipples!
- Greg Proops: [goes up as Clive, immediate buzz] OHHHH!
- Mike McShane: And now, Episode 3 of "Corky: Diary of a Flatulent".
- [Greg laughs as Tony steps forward]
- Tony Slattery: Oh, it's that show where Clive patronises lots of different people around the world.
- Clive Anderson: [innocently] Don't bring Clive James into this!
- Tony Slattery: [stepping forward again] No, I meant Clive Anderson!
- Mike McShane: It's the OJ Simpson trial. Hey, he's being defended by Clive Anderson! Ha-ha!
- Tony Slattery: Yes, we're back, and it's Round Three of Saliva Darts.
- [Tony spits]