Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010)

Brandon T. Jackson: Grover

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Quotes 

• Grover : So, uh, Perce... what do you remember?

  Percy Jackson : Some crazy dream. I don't know. There was a monster. My mon was there. Well- well, you were there, too, but you were some weird hybrid, man-goat *thing*! Woah!

  Grover : Yeah. The politically correct term is Satyr.

• Grover : [holding up the Medusa head]  Guys, I can't pee with her watching me.

  [the passing maid sees the head, screams, and runs off] 

  Grover : Sorry, guys. I messed up. I should have closed the curtains.

  Annabeth Chase : Come on, guys. Let's hit the road before Homeland Security shows up.

• Grover : [the Ferryman just burned the money he gave him]  That was a Hundred and Seventy dollars!

  Percy Jackson : Wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. The drachma. The drachma!

  [Percy give the Ferryman the drachmas] 

  Ferryman : Climb aboard.

  Grover : Thanks for telling me, man, you're burning money. We're in a recession. That's treason.

• Grover : [Seeing the daughters of Aphrodite in the hot tub, and turning to Percy and Chiron]  Ooh. The Daughters of Aphrodite. Okay. All right, guys. You guys got a lot of catching up to do. Their mother is the Goddess of Love, so you know where that leads. Hey, baby! Whoo!

  Chiron : Satyrs.

• Percy Jackson : You're half donkey?

  Grover : No, half goat.

  [busts out window with hooves and climbs out] 

  Sally Jackson : Go, Grover!

  Grover : Guys, watch out, there's glass! Now come on!

• Grover : GPS from the gods. Where to next?

  Percy Jackson : [unfolding the map]  Let's see.

  [a new marking appears on the map] 

  Percy Jackson : The Parthenon in Nashville.

  Grover : Nashville? Oh, great. Home of my least favorite music. Yee-haw!

  [Annabeth grins] 

• Percy Jackson : What's her name?

  [pointing at Annabeth] 

  Grover : [laughs]  She will squash you like a bug.

  Percy Jackson : Her *name*.

  Grover : Annabeth. Daughter of Athena, the goddess of wisdom.

• Percy Jackson : Oh, I wish I could spend all day underwater instead of this place.

  Grover : Right. It's like High School without the musical.

• Grover : And he's alive! Percy Jackson is a beast! You're a beast, man! Gimme some.

  Percy Jackson : How long was that?

  Grover : Seven minutes.

  Percy Jackson : Seven minutes?

  Grover : Mmm-hmm.

  Percy Jackson : Oh.

  Grover : That's crazy, man. That's ridiculous. How do you do it?

  Percy Jackson : I just like being in water. It's the one place I can think.

• [after Grover nods off while driving and almost crashes] 

  Percy Jackson : Let's stop for the night!

  Grover : Yeah.

  Percy Jackson : Let's stop for the night!

  Grover : Yeah.

• Grover : Look, don't worry. But you're not alone. There's hundreds in the world. Some lead normal lives, and some, I'm not allowed to divulge their names, are very famous. I'm talking about, like, White House famous. See, man, this is a place right here, this's the place where you'll learn to harness your powers. You'll train to become leaders, warriors and heroes.

  Percy Jackson : I think you have the wrong guy, all right? I'm not a hero. I'm a loser. I have dyslexia, ADHD.

  Grover : And those are your greatest gifts. When you try to read, the words float off the page, right? That's because your brain is hardwired for Ancient Greek, not English.

  Percy Jackson : Like at the museum, I could read.

  Grover : Yeah. And your ADHD? You're impulsive, Percy. You can't by still! Those are your natural battle reflexes, man. They kept you alive in your fight.