- George Feeny: [to Cory and Shawn] Gentlemen, this kind of behavior is juvenile and unbefitting of college sophomores. Did you really put a car in her room?
- [Shawn and Cory nod their heads]
- George Feeny: [laughs] That's great!
- Rachel McGuire: [to Mr. Feeny about Cory and Shawn putting her car in her dorm room] You're not going to teach them a lesson?
- George Feeny: No, and you can't make me.
- Eric Matthews: You know what, Jack, I'm having trouble opening this jar.
- Jack Hunter: That's because it's a can.
- Cory Matthews: Mr. Feeny, this war must be stopped!
- George Feeny: Your passion for the material is admirable, Mr. Matthews, but not to worry. The Civil War was fought over a hundred years ago.
- Cory Matthews: Oh, no one cares about that crap. I'm talking about now!
- George Feeny: Mr. Matthews, I have no idea what you're talking about and that's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it.
- Topanga Matthews: [When Cory, Topanga and Shawn are glued in their seats, covered in honey] Honey!
- Cory Matthews: What?
- Topanga Matthews: No. Honey!
- Cory Matthews: What?
- Topanga Matthews: It's honey, idiot!
- Topanga Matthews: [after Cory and Shawn go too far with the prank war by posting a giant, personal picture of Rachel in the student union] Rachel, I am so sorry. I had nothing to do with this.
- [to Cory and Shawn]
- Topanga Matthews: Why did I have nothing to do with this?
- Cory Matthews: Uh-oh.
- Topanga Matthews: I am on your team, remember?
- Cory Matthews: Uh-oh.
- Topanga Matthews: We make decisions together! Remember?
- Cory Matthews: It was Shawn's idea. Uh-oh!
- Topanga Matthews: But of course. Whenever there's trouble, Shawn can't be too far behind. It was a nice toast at the wedding, Shawn. "It's Cory and Topanga now. Cory and Topanga are best friends, not Cory and Shawn." I thought we were a team.
- Shawn Hunter: Hey, look, we're all in this together.
- Topanga Matthews: Yeah, for once, I thought we were! For once, I thought it could be the three of us! That's why I wanted to be on your guys' team. To be part of the legendary team, but I guess I'm not.
- Topanga Matthews: Rachel, I'm sorry.
- Cory Matthews: Why are you all taking Rachel's side? You've known me and Shawn all your life. You've known Rachel, what, a couple of years?
- [Rachel looks hurt by what Cory just said]
- Cory Matthews: Oh, Rachel, I'm really sorry. That's not how we think of you or anything.
- Shawn Hunter: No, it's not.
- Rachel McGuire: How stupid am I? I actually thought that you guys were my friends.
- Angela Moore: Of course we are!
- Topanga Matthews: Rachel, you were in our wedding!
- Rachel McGuire: I really thought that you guys let me into your special world. I guess the joke really is on me.
- [walks away]
- Angela Moore: And I guess it's no accident the way the teams are picked around here.
- Jack Hunter: Yeah, what a coincidence, huh? Lifelongers versus... I guess I really don't know what we are.
- Cory Matthews: [to Topanga] I cannot believe that you would take Rachel's side over mine!
- Topanga Matthews: I took your side! I wanted to be on Cory and Shawn's team! I was excited to be part of that immortal friendship! You left me out, Cory!
- Cory Matthews: Topanga, you were in the shower washing your hair for, like, eleven hours!
- Topanga Matthews: Do you know why a husband is supposed to tell his wife when he's gonna do something? So she can tell him what a stupid idea it is before he does it!
- Cory Matthews: Look, I don't want you to think that you're not my best friend, okay? And I do not want you to think that I would ever hurt you.
- [he and Topanga lie down on their bed; after a few seconds of silence]
- Cory Matthews: Why was it a stupid idea?
- Topanga Matthews: Because you hurt someone's feelings!
- Cory Matthews: Rachel's.
- Topanga Matthews: And mine.
- [turns over on her side, facing away from Cory]
- Cory Matthews: Oh, great, the butt!
- Eric Matthews: [to Shawn and Jack while holding a book] All right, look. I'm glad you're both here. Listen to me. I've been reading a lot about this guy named Gandhi. Gandhi's an Indian. He's a Cherokee, I think, but it's not really what's important. Gandhi is a master at solving all conflicts peacefully. Now, the first thing we need to do is start a dialogue.
- [Shawn and Jack don't respond]
- Eric Matthews: Okay, see, to have a dialogue, somebody has to talk.
- [reads from the book]
- Eric Matthews: "Somebody has to talk." Yeah. So, who's gonna go first?
- Jack Hunter: [to Jack] Oh, to hell with you, man.
- Eric Matthews: Now, see, that's good. Let's build from that.
- Shawn Hunter: To hell with you, too.
- Shawn Hunter: Eric, butt out!
- Eric Matthews: I can't butt out. I'm the peacemaker. That's why I was on both sides. Remember? Shh.
- Shawn Hunter: You weren't on anybody's side.
- Eric Matthews: What are you talking about? Everybody wanted me!
- Jack Hunter: No, nobody wanted you!
- Eric Matthews: What?
- Jack Hunter: Nobody wanted you on their team!
- [Eric sadly walks away and leaves the room]
- Shawn Hunter: [to Jack] What did you do that for?
- Jack Hunter: Don't tell me what to do, moron!
- [Shawn picks up his food and leaves the room too, leaving Jack sitting at the kitchen table alone]