Gracie Allen: Gracie Allen

Quotes 

• [Gracie has wrapped George's Christmas present] 

  Harry Morton : What is it, Gracie?

  Gracie Allen : Guess.

  Harry Morton : It could be anything.

  Gracie Allen : That's what it is. Oh, and George has wanted one for a long time!

• Harry Morton : Oh Gracie, I've been looking for you all over! I've got Blanche's Christmas presents here, will you hide them for me?

  Gracie Allen : What is it?

  Harry Morton : I got her a red alligator bag and and shoes to match.

  Gracie Allen : Oh, it's lovely, Harry! But I always thought alligators were brown.

  Harry Morton : It's dyed.

  Gracie Allen : Oh, well, I hope it has if they made a bag and shoes out of it.

• Jill Kelly : Tell us a story, Aunt Gracie!

  Gracie Allen : Well, alright. I know a lot of stories that I used to know when I was a little girl. Now, which one do you want to hear?

  Jill Kelly : Dickens' Christmas Carol.

  Gracie Allen : Oh, yes. Isn't that the one that starts, "Once upon a time," and it ends with, "and they lived happily ever after?"

  George Burns : Yeah, I think that's the one, yes.

  Gracie Allen : Yeah... Now if I could just remember that part in between.

• Gracie Allen : Once upon a time, on a beautiful Christmas morning, Scrooge and Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim went for a walk in the woods while their breakfast was cooling. So, while they were gone, a dear little girl came and knocked on the door. And naturally, nobody answered so she went inside to see who it was, and...

  George Burns : Gracie, that's not the way I heard it.

  Gracie Allen : Who told it to you?

  George Burns : My mother.

  Gracie Allen : Oh. Well, this is by Dickens... So, this little girl saw the breakfast cooling and she decided to taste it. So she tried the first bowl and it was too hot, and she tried the second bowl and it was too cold, and she tried the third bowl and it was just right and she ate it all up!

  George Burns : That was Goldilocks.

  Gracie Allen : No, it was porridge... Well anyway, this poor little girl had two rich step-sisters and then along came Prince Charming with a glass slipper, so he tried it on the first step-sister and it was too hot, and he tried it on the second step-sister and it was too cold, and he tried it on the poor little girl and it just fit! And she married him and guess who got all the money?

  George Burns : Walt Disney.

• Gracie Allen : Mamie, do you know it was love at first sight? Well, when I saw George walk out on the stage, I said, "There's the man I'm going to marry." Oh, something hit me!

  Mamie Kelly : Really?

  Gracie Allen : Yes, it was my mother.

• Gracie Allen : The thing was, my mother thought that I was too young to marry George.

  Mamie Kelly : Is there much difference between you and George?

  Gracie Allen : Well sure, he's a man, you know.

  Mamie Kelly : No, I mean is there much difference between your ages?

  Gracie Allen : Well, there is now but there wasn't any when we got married.

• Jeri Kelly : Linda, can we go out and play?

  Linda Kelly : I don't know. Jill, is it alright if we go out and play?

  Jill Kelly : I don't know. Mother, is it alright if we go out and play?

  Mamie Kelly : Gracie, is it alright if the children go out and play?

  Gracie Allen : George, is it alright if the children go out and play?

  George Burns : Hold on.

  [goes to telephone] 

  George Burns : I'll call my agent.