Married... with Children (TV Series)
Best of Bundy (1995)
Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy
Photos
Quotes
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Peggy Bundy : Hi, honey. How was your day?
Al Bundy : Hey, I came home, how good could it have been?
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Al Bundy : I wish the world was a fly and I was a giant rolled-up newspaper.
Peggy Bundy : Here we go again.
Al Bundy : A fat woman clip-clopped into the shoe store today. She said "I'd like something I'd be comfortable in." I said "Try Wyoming!"
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Marcy D'Arcy : I don't know why we even need bras.
Al Bundy : Well, I think it's to keep your breast off the plate when you eat.
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Marcy D'Arcy : You know who we have to thank for this whole bra problem?
Al Bundy : Me?
Marcy D'Arcy : No, men! They design and manufacture bras not for the bosoms that we have, but for the bosoms that they want. You know what would happen if men had breasts?
Al Bundy : We wouldn't need women anymore?
Peggy Bundy : [to Al] And if you had what other men have, I wouldn't need batteries anymore!
Al Bundy : That's what happened to my Die Hards!
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Kelly Bundy : Look what they want me to wear for my next Verminator commercial.
[tiny red bikini]
Kelly Bundy : Daddy, I'm afraid that if I keep doing this, people are gonna think that I'm all body and no...
[forgets what she's talking about]
Al Bundy : Mind?
Kelly Bundy : No, I don't, go ahead.
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Peggy Bundy : Gee, Al, I don't know about you, but I'm horny as hell.
Al Bundy : Well, so am I, but you don't see me bothering you about it, do you?
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Al Bundy : Peg, I wouldn't rub your tushy if Robin Williams popped out of it and offered me three wishes.