Family Guy (TV Series)
Stewie Loves Lois (2006)
Patrick Warburton: Joe Swanson
Quotes
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Joe Swanson : [at The Drunken Clam] Peter, what's the matter with you today? You're not yourself.
Peter Griffin : Guys, I went to Dr. Hartman yesterday and... he did things to my fanny!
Cleveland Brown : Peter, it's okay.
Peter Griffin : It's not okay! You don't know what it's like!
Cleveland Brown : You're wrong. I, too, have felt the cold finger of injustice on my insidey parts!
Peter Griffin : He... he did it to you, too?
Glenn Quagmire : I have something to say. Dr. Hartman violated me as well. I only went in there for a physical/guinea pig removal, but I turned out to be the guinea pig, for his sexual experimentation!
Joe Swanson : You guys are a bunch of queers.
[wheels off-screen, then returns, crying]
Joe Swanson : And so am I! Oh God, it was horrible! I scrubbed and I scrubbed, but damn it, they don't make water hot enough!
Peter Griffin : My God, we've all been victims of Dr. Hartman's "prostate exam." Well, gentleman, the abuse stops here. I will not turn a brown eye to this. I am gonna sue that bastard and make him pay out the ass. No ifs, ands or buts. I'm gonna be real anal about this.
[pause]
Peter Griffin : Sphincter.
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Joe Swanson : Peter, you're urinating unusually frequently.
Glenn Quagmire : Yeah, what gives?
Captain Seamus : If it's gale force peeing you be doin', it could mean you've got barnacles on your prostate. Best have sick bay check below your decks.
Peter Griffin : Wait a minute. Are you telling me I need a prostate exam?
Captain Seamus : Aye, and soon before your rudder jams with flotsam and you're droppin' anchor without an order from the captain.