It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)

The Gang Gives Back (2006)

Charlie Day: Charlie Kelly

Photos 

Quotes 

• Waitress : I wrote down my phone number. Please. Please, Charlie. Please don't make me regret giving this to you.

  Charlie Kelly : No, absolute... absolutely not. No, this will be a platonic sponsor-sponsoree kind of thing.

  [waitress gives Charlie her phone number] 

  Charlie Kelly : [upon reading it, muttering to himself]  Oh. No shit! I was so close.

• Charlie Kelly : Yeah... I'm not an alcoholic, actually... Yeah... I'm only here because I got a little drunk and I threw a flaming bag of feces into a building and I kind of burnt it down a little bit, you know, but I wasn't trying to burn it down. I was trying to make the place smell really bad and get rid of this guy... this guy knows what I'm talking about.

• Charlie Kelly : I have 248 hours of, uh...

  Mac : [helping Charlie read]  Interstate.

  Charlie Kelly : Inter... Interstate...

  Mac : Sanitation. Jesus Christ.

  Charlie Kelly : Interstate sanitation. What is that?

  Dennis Reynolds : The guys in the orange vests who pick up trash.

  Charlie Kelly : Oh, my God. And what is this about the AA?

  Mac : Alcoholics Anonymous.

  Charlie Kelly : For...

  Mac : Six!

  Dee Reynolds : Oh, my God.

  Mac : Months!