- Dennis Reynolds: Flop, come here for a second.
- [Dennis gives him a pair of boots]
- Dennis Reynolds: All right, these are for you. And there's a steel toe in there. Don't be afraid to use it.
- Flip Flop Kid: Thanks, Dad!
- Dennis Reynolds: I'm not your dad.
- [Flip Flop Kid runs up to Dennis with a soda in his hand]
- Dennis Reynolds: What the hell is that?
- Flip Flop Kid: I don't know.
- Dennis Reynolds: It's diet.
- Flip Flop Kid: Oh.
- Dennis Reynolds: Does it look like I need to be on a diet?
- Flip Flop Kid: I don't know.
- Dennis Reynolds: Terrible. Take a lap.
- Waitress: I wrote down my phone number. Please. Please, Charlie. Please don't make me regret giving this to you.
- Charlie Kelly: No, absolute... absolutely not. No, this will be a platonic sponsor-sponsoree kind of thing.
- [waitress gives Charlie her phone number]
- Charlie Kelly: [upon reading it, muttering to himself] Oh. No shit! I was so close.
- Dennis Reynolds: [picking basketball teams] All righty. Uh... You, you, you, you, and you. Come over here.
- [all the black kids go to Dennis]
- Dennis Reynolds: All right. Now, the rest of you kids can go with those two losers right there.
- Mac: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell's going on over here?
- Dennis Reynolds: I'm picking my team.
- Dee Reynolds: No. No, you-you can't- you can't take all...
- Dennis Reynolds: I can't pick the...?
- Dee Reynolds: You can't pick all...
- Dennis Reynolds: What should I not pick?
- Mac: You know exactly what you've done, sir.
- Charlie Kelly: Yeah... I'm not an alcoholic, actually... Yeah... I'm only here because I got a little drunk and I threw a flaming bag of feces into a building and I kind of burnt it down a little bit, you know, but I wasn't trying to burn it down. I was trying to make the place smell really bad and get rid of this guy... this guy knows what I'm talking about.
- Charlie Kelly: I have 248 hours of, uh...
- Mac: [helping Charlie read] Interstate.
- Charlie Kelly: Inter... Interstate...
- Mac: Sanitation. Jesus Christ.
- Charlie Kelly: Interstate sanitation. What is that?
- Dennis Reynolds: The guys in the orange vests who pick up trash.
- Charlie Kelly: Oh, my God. And what is this about the AA?
- Mac: Alcoholics Anonymous.
- Charlie Kelly: For...
- Mac: Six!
- Dee Reynolds: Oh, my God.
- Mac: Months!
- Frank Reynolds: Hey, what's the action?
- Dennis Reynolds: Oh, Jesus Christ! Are you gonna keep saying that? Is that like your catch phrase now?