The Addams Family (TV Series)

My Son, the Chimp (1965)

John Astin: Gomez Addams

Photos 

Quotes 

• Morticia Addams : A message from Pugsley!

  Gomez Addams : Airmail.

  Morticia Addams : But why didn't he come himself? He can't make it.

  Gomez Addams : Nonsense, my dear, it's nothing more se- Great Scott this is serious!

  Morticia Addams : I knew it! Tell me. No, don't tell me. Oh yes, do tell me, I must know the worst.

  Gomez Addams : The Green Avenger's being threatened by the Venusian Zorax' deadly Zeta beam radiation. The only form of energy that can penetrate his plastic screen!

• [Gomez, doing a bit of indoor fishing, appraises his latest catch] 

  Gomez Addams : Strangest fish I ever saw!

  Morticia Addams : Darling, it's Mama's dress shoe!

  Gomez Addams : Ah, so it is... Ah, still, it's the biggest thing I ever caught. Two pounds if it's an ounce. An indoor record!

• Morticia Addams : [told the chimpanzee is her son]  No, I absolutely refuse to believe that that... Gomez? Look. He has that same lovely low brow as... you-know-who.

  Gomez Addams : Yeah, and that same fine prehistoric jawline.

  Chimpanzee : Oo, oo, oo, oo.

  Morticia Addams : Oh, it is Pugsley. I know that voice anywhere.

• [Fester prepares a seance to restore Pugsley] 

  Uncle Fester : Now, you may as well know, I have been in touch with the spirits.

  Morticia Addams : Ah, well, a little drink now and then never hurt anyone.

  Uncle Fester : The spirits of the astral plane I'm talking about.

  Gomez Addams : Oh, one of those champaign flights, ay, Fester?

  Uncle Fester : [vexed]  Very funny.

• Uncle Fester : Is that you, Pugsley? Whistle once and rap twice for yes; rap once and whistle three times for no.

  [Pugsley can't figure out how to respond, so he raps on the brick wall] 

  Uncle Fester : Five rap? What does THAT mean?

  Gomez Addams : That means it's definitely Pugsley. He never could count.

• [Thing engages the others in a game of charades to try telling them where he's found Pugsley] 

  Morticia Addams : I think he's trying to tell us something.

  Gomez Addams : What is it, Thing? Something we should know?

  Grandmama Addams : Is it smaller than a coffin?

  Morticia Addams : Larger than a tsetse fly?

  Gomez Addams : Is it the title of a song?

  Morticia Addams : Oh, this is fun. I mean, it would be if Pugsley were here. Is it someone we know?

  Uncle Fester : How many syllables?

  Gomez Addams : Two syllables. Ah, ha... Whom do we know with two syllables? First syllable. Sounds like.

  [Thing slugs the air] 

  Morticia Addams : Fight?

  Grandmama Addams : Fighting.

  Gomez Addams : Fight-er!

  Morticia Addams : Pugilist.

  Gomez Addams : Pug! Pug... Pug... Ahhh... It just doesn't seem to ring a bell.

• Gomez Addams : Uncle Fester hasn't stopped eating since he clawed his way out of that secret room.

  Morticia Addams : Well, three days without food does tend to sharpen one's appetite.

• Gomez Addams : By George, I was right. My Great-Aunt Deleria was engaged to a chimpanzee. Here they are.

  Morticia Addams : [looking at Gomez's family album]  Lovely couple!

  Gomez Addams : Too bad he jilted her.