Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk, Private Eye (2006)
Traylor Howard: Natalie Teeger
Photos
Quotes
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Adrian Monk : You owe me 85 cents.
Natalie Teeger : Fine. Take it out of my paycheck.
Adrian Monk : Don't think I won't.
Natalie Teeger : How'd you get so cheap? Really?
Adrian Monk : I work for a living! All right? At least I used to. Now I just get bull kelp splashed on me.
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Adrian Monk : [about his new office] Natalie, you can't afford this.
Natalie Teeger : Actually, you're paying for it.
Adrian Monk : *I* can't afford this!
Natalie Teeger : Oh yes you can. Remember last month when you got that bonus after solving the Kensington case?
Adrian Monk : No.
Natalie Teeger : That's because I used it for a down payment.
Adrian Monk : Grown ups have a word for that. It's called "embezzlement."
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Natalie Teeger : You can't swim?
Adrian Monk : To be honest, I don't know. I mean, I know how... all right, I took a correspondence course.
Natalie Teeger : You learned to swim by mail?
Adrian Monk : They sent me a little diploma! And, I've got this.
[He gives Natalie a little card from his wallet]
Natalie Teeger : "Swimming Fundamentals: Don't panic; Breathe normally; Flutter kicks..."
Adrian Monk : Can I have that back, please?
Natalie Teeger : Why would you even take the course? You never go in the water.
Adrian Monk : Hello, tsunamis?
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[Monk gets so bored with waiting for a case that he calls Natalie's desk phone from his desk phone about ten feet away]
Natalie Teeger : Adrian Monk Investigation. What is the nature of your problem?
Adrian Monk : I'm been kept in a room against my will.
Natalie Teeger : You were kidnapped... uh, do you know who did it ?
Adrian Monk : Yes. It's my personal assistant, her name is Natalie... Teeger.
[as he says that, the camera pans around Natalie to reveal Monk talking on his desk phone]
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Natalie Teeger : It took Grandpa Neville's business a whole year before it finally took off!
Adrian Monk : Not everyone feels the same way you do about Grandpa Neville! For example, I was just thinking about how fun it would be to dig up his body and poke it with a bi-i-ig stick.
[They don't see Linda Fusco enter]
Linda Fusco : Who's Grandpa Neville? And why are we poking him with a stick?
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[Natalie, Stottlemeyer, and Disher finally locate Monk in the sea]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Hey, there he is! There's Monk! Twenty degrees to port.
Lt. Randall Disher : What's that next to him, is it a life preserver?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Nah, it looks like a toilet seat.
Linda Fusco : Well, if it's floating, why doesn't he just grab it?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer , Lt. Randall Disher , Natalie Teeger : Uhhh...