- Oliver Douglas: [Lisa wants Oliver to send Eb to college] Well it can be pretty expensive.
- Lisa Douglas: How expensive? Mink coat expensive or sable coat expensive?
- Oliver Douglas: Mink.
- Lisa Douglas: Well then why don't we send Eb to college instead?
- Oliver Douglas: Instead of what?
- Lisa Douglas: You buying me a mink coat.
- Oliver Douglas: I wasn't gonna buy you a mink coat.
- Lisa Douglas: Well then you certainly can afford to send Eb to college.
- Oliver Douglas: Lisa!
- Lisa Douglas: Although... if I go to visit Eb in college, it wouldn't be nice if I would go without a mink coat.
- Lisa Douglas: [regarding Eb] Poor boy. Thrown out of college just because he didn't graduate high school.
- Oliver Douglas: To be a veterinarian, you've got to have a diploma.
- Sam Drucker: Just like a doctor that treats people.
- Lisa Douglas: Oh, well, people's doctor I can understand, because people go to the office and look at the diploma, but, but animals, never.
- Sam Drucker: Well eh...
- Oliver Douglas: Eh, eh, wait till you hear the next part of it.
- Lisa Douglas: When Eb fixed up Alice, she didn't look for his diploma, and neither did Arnold when Eb saved him from the shiver-shake shim-shams.
- Sam Drucker: Well eh...
- Oliver Douglas: I don't think she's finished.
- Lisa Douglas: Now if Eb needs a diploma, he should go to college so he can become a vegetarian.
- Oliver Douglas: Mr. Haney, how would you like me to dent your hip-flask?
- [turns Haney around as if to kick him]