How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)
Slap Bet (2006)
Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby
Photos
Quotes
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Ted Mosby : That wasn't a real secret!
Robin Scherbatsky : Yeah, but it could've been!
Ted Mosby : You are driving me crazy! No wonder your fake husband moved to Hong Kong!
Robin Scherbatsky : [deadly serious] He moved there for business!
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Barney : Do you want to know what Robin's secret is?
Ted Mosby : You know?
Barney : Of course I know. She couldn't look at us, her face got flushed- that's shame, my friend. Our friend Robin used to do PORN, wait for it...
Barney : ...OGRAPHY!
Ted Mosby : Yeah, we didn't really need to wait for that.
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Ted Mosby : So what's the deal with you and malls?
Robin Scherbatsky : I thought you said if I don't want to talk about it I don't have to...
Ted Mosby : Yeah with *those* people. C'mon I'm your boyfriend! What is it? Did you get arrested in a mall?
Robin Scherbatsky : No.
Ted Mosby : Dumped in a mall?
Robin Scherbatsky : Ted...
Ted Mosby : Found out you were Canadian at a mall?
Robin Scherbatsky : Let it go.
Ted Mosby : Trapped under a fake boulder at the mall?
Robin Scherbatsky : Let it go.
Ted Mosby : Mauled at the mall?
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Ted Mosby : Wha... I don't get it! Why won't Robin tell me why she hates malls?
Barney : Ted, you should be happy Robin has a secret. The more you learn about a person, the better chance you have of hitting the fatal "Ohhh..." moment.
Marshall : The "Ohhh..." moment?
Barney : Yeah. That moment when you find out that one detail about a person that is going to be a deal-breaker.
[Flashback to Barney with different girls]
Girl #1 : It's a promise ring. I made a pact with God to stay a virgin till I'm married.
Barney : Ohhhh...
Girl #2 : I don't have an eating disorder, it's just when I put food in my mouth, I chew it and then I spit it out!
Barney : Ohhhh...
Girl #3 : I just turned 30.
Barney : Ohhhhhh...
Barney : [Back to present] So trust me, you want to postpone knowing anything about each other for as long as possible
Ted Mosby : Hmm... I disagree. If there's some potential "Ohhh..." moment, I wanna know about it right away. I mean, what's the alternative?
[Flash to Robin and Ted at the altar]
Reverend Rob : I now pronounce you man and wife.
Ted Mosby : I love you.
Robin Scherbatsky : I used to be a dude.
Ted Mosby : Ohhhhhh...
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Lily : [after Ted tells the gang that Robin was married in Canada] Yeah, well, you still shouldn't have told us. I mean, what kind of boyfriend are you?
Ted Mosby : See, that's just it. I'm not the boyfriend, I'm the mistress. No, not the mistress. The mastress. Master. What do you call it?
Barney : I'm pretty sure we're gonna call is mistress.
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Ted Mosby : You're afraid of the seven dwarfs?
Robin Scherbatsky : Just Doc. He's creepy. I mean, he's got a medical degree. Why is he hanging around a bunch of coal miners?