- Spinelli: Boys kissing girls? Girls kissing boys?
- Gretchen: Surely, there must be some mistake. I mean, this defies the rules of nature and physics. Besides that, it's disgusting!"
- Theodore J. 'T.J.' Detweiler: But Butch says it's the future. His brother Joey told him.
- Spinelli: Oh, please! The day I stop caring about dodgeball is the day the Earth starts spinning around the sun.
- Gretchen: Which explains the D minus you got in Science.
- Theodore J. 'T.J.' Detweiler: You realize we may have to get married after this.
- Spinelli: You realize I may have to kill you after this.
- Vince LaSalle: [about kissing] Ah, maybe Butch was just lying.
- Gus Griswald: Sounds good to me.
- Mikey Blumberg: I don't know, you guys. I've seen it in lots of movies.
- Theodore J. 'T.J.' Detweiler: Mikey! How many times do we have to remind you not to tell anyone you watch that mushy love junk?
- Mikey Blumberg: I know, I know. But it looks kinda sweet. And the guys in the movies sure seem to like it.
- Vince LaSalle: That's called acting, Mikey.