- Hudson: [frantic] What are ya, crazy man? What kind of sick lunatic would volunteer to do that?
- Max: [excited] OOH! PICK ME! OOH! ME! OOOOH!
- Sam: Well, here we are in a deadly game of Cat and Mouse with The Thing.
- Max: Tell me, Sam, why the heck are we doing this again?
- Sam: It's simple, really! If this so-called "Thing" should somehow find its way into our world, devouring unsuspecting citizens who have no natural fear of frozen entrées, they would surely cause a nation-wide mistrust of pre-manufactured foods of all kinds, forcing producers of over-cooked man-sized portions to go bankrupt! To safeguard American businesses, Max! THAT'S why the heck we're doing this!
- Max: And because we get to wave THESE around!
- [cocks and fires a flamethrower]
- Sam: Well, that goes without saying.