Green Acres (TV Series)

Lisa's Jam Session (1967)

Eddie Albert: Oliver Wendell Douglas

Photos 

Quotes 

• Oliver Douglas : [Mr. Haney has a decorated bathtub on the back of his truck]  What is that?

  Mr. Haney : Eh, what is what?

  Oliver Douglas : That monstrosity!

  Mr. Haney : Mr. Douglas, may I shake your hand?

  Oliver Douglas : What for?

  Mr. Haney : You show that to a hundred people and probably not more than one of 'em will recognize it as a genuine Monstrositi. That is the work of Fedeccini Monstrositi, the last of the great Italian bathtub makers.

• Oliver Douglas : You know, when I married you, I knew you didn't have too much up here, but the rest of you made up for it. But now that I'm getting older...

  [shakes his head] 

• Lisa Douglas : [apologetic]  I ran out of hotscakes flowers and I can't make you hotscakes for breakfast.

  Oliver Douglas : [brightens up]  You can't make hotcakes?

  Lisa Douglas : Shall I get the whip?

  Oliver Douglas : No, no, no, just let me sit here and let it sing in. No hotcakes...

  [he starts to whistle] 

  Lisa Douglas : You're not very upset?

  Oliver Douglas : Well, I'm just covering up for what's inside: relief.

• Mr. Haney : Now, just take a look at what I got on my truck. Maybe some item will tickle your fancy. That is, if you've got a ticklish fancy.

  [laughs] 

  Mr. Haney : Always like to start the dickering with a joke!

  Oliver Douglas : Yeah, well, it's not much of a joke and we are not dickering.