- Detective Danny Messer: [chuckling, after thinking that a female coworker walking down the hall is Lindsay] I think I'm losing my mind.
- Detective Stella Bonasera: They say burning is the most painful of deaths.
- Detective Danny Messer: I love it. How do they know? What did they do, take a poll? "64% of dead people surveyed..."
- Detective Mac Taylor: [to Danny, holding out lighter] What other job allows you to light your boss on fire?
- Detective Danny Messer: [to Mac before setting him on fire] Okay, but if you go up in flames, I get your office.
- Det. Mac Taylor: You want to do the honours?
- Danny Messer: Are you lighting your arm on fire in the name of science?
- Det. Mac Taylor: What other job allows you to set your boss on fire? Going once, going twice...
- Rupert Flannigan: [waving hand over what appears to be a dead fly] Welcome to Magic Paradise gentlemen, where anything is possible, if you believe in magic.
- [Fly flips upright and flies away]
- Detective Don Flack: [to Mac] Fake fly.
- Detective Mac Taylor: [rubs fingers across the counter top] Sodium chloride, introducing a fine, nearly invisible pinch of salt onto the waterlogged fly reestablishes the salt to water equilibrium necessary for the fly to conduct its cellular metabolism.
- Detective Don Flack: I like the fake fly theory better
- [Examining the body of a woman who was sawed in half]
- Dr. Sid Hammerback: Do I even need to state the cause of death?
- Detective Don Flack: Do you think Houdini knew the impact he would have on the mafia lingo?
- Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: I'm sorry?
- Detective Don Flack: It's like, when they whack somebody they say, "we made him do a Houdini". Do you think that would make him proud?
- Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Are we actually having this conversation?
- Detective Don Flack: Oh, I'm sorry, can you explain the difference between DNA and RNA? Is that better? 'Cause that's a scintillating conversation right there.
- Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: It would be if you knew the interest...
- [They are interrupted by Rupert]
- Detective Danny Messer: [throws his hands in the air] Why do I even bother if you already know the answer Mac?
- [after Rupert has said that he loved the victim]
- Detective Don Flack: Yeah, and nothing says "I love you back" like an order of protection.
- Luke Blade: [talking about his next "trick"] And most importantly, it has be performed by a highly pissed off professional!