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. . . the Association for American Aardvarks has championed the cause of misunderstood Revolutionary War Maj. Gen. Benedict Arnold, the subject of THE LAST RESORT. Due to a recent Aardvark Freedom of Information Act request, historians have discovered that after serving with distinction in the Connecticut Militia, then the Massachusetts Militia and finally the New York Provincial Army, whistle-blower Arnold was about to reveal the Red State plot to perpetuate human bondage for decades longer than Britain while crafting a highly egregious if not Satanic Suicide Pact Constitution and misnamed "Bill of Rights" to guarantee a broken, non-repairable mess of senseless Gerrymandering, minority rule and Pale-Faced Eternal Tyranny. The far-sighted if not clairvoyant Arnold knew the malingering miscreants from Red States such as Washington, Jefferson, Madison and Monroe would fill America's schools, groceries, churches, restaurants, music festivals and night clubs with increasingly lethal military assault rifles while forcing women to become birthing factories. That is why Popeye and the Sea Queen are honoring Arnold with freshly-engraved commemorative currency as a prelude to joining FDR as replacements for the traitors Washington and Jefferson on Mount Rushmore.