Schitt's Creek (TV Series)

Life Is a Cabaret (2019)

Chris Elliott: Roland Schitt

Quotes 

• Ted Mullens : Hey David! Congratulations! I'm really happy for you.

  David Rose : You know? I was going to be the one to let people know?

  Ted Mullens : Oh, your dad doesn't know?

  Johnny Rose : Know what son?

  Roland Schitt : If you're talking about Dave's big engagement news? A best man hasn't been chosen but we think it's going to be a black tie affair.

  Johnny Rose : David? You're engaged?

  David Rose : Yeah! Sure!

  Johnny Rose : David! Congratulations! You deserve all of the happiness in the world! We'll pick this up later.

• David Rose : [Standing on the chair]  Everyone? I would just like to say a big congratulations to Team Cabaret. You guys were awesome. Speaking of love...

  Roland Schitt : [Raspy voice]  Somebody got engaged!

  David Rose : Speaking of love, I'm so glad that you're all here because Patrick and I have an announcement to make.

  Jocelyn Schitt : [Very drunk]  They're getting married!

  David Rose : Jocelyn! I'm the one standing on the chair! Two years ago I went to fill out some paperwork for my business license and little did I know I would meet the love of my

  [Moira's phone starts ringing] 

  David Rose : MY. GOD!

  Moira Rose : Sorry, this is me. It's probably press. I'm sorry David I have to take this. I already know about your engagement!

  [blows David kisses] 

  Ronnie Lee : So you're engaged to him?

  David Rose : Okay, so this shouldn't be so hard!

  Alexis Rose : Oh my god, David spit it out!

  David Rose : Oh my god! Fine! I met someone who changed my life and I don't know what I would do without him? So yes, we all know that Patrick and I are engaged!

  Moira Rose : NO! NO! NO!

  Stevie Budd : My God!

  Johnny Rose : [Everyone runs into the other room to find Moira collapsed on the floor]  If it's a bad review Moira I wouldn't trust local critics.

  Moira Rose : They shelved the Crowing! It's over.

  [Moira crawls into a closet, shuts the door and starts crying] 

  Johnny Rose : [Standing in front of the closet door]  Show's over people! Nothing here to see.

  David Rose : Okay everyone if you can just leave your champagne flutes here. Unless you still want to make a toast?

  [Patrick shakes his head no] 

  David Rose : Okay just leave your champagne flutes here. Thank you!

• Alexis Rose : Who's going to plan the wedding?

  Roland Schitt : Well, I could ask Jocelyn to do it - she planned her cousin's funeral for less than$100.