- [first lines]
- Diana: Christmas is rubbish.
- Tom: I'm not listening.
- Diana: [pointing at decorated tree] Oh, look at that fairy. There are one or two fairies round here who could do with a tree up th...
- Tom: That's quite enough. You'll be arrested for obscene mumbling one of these days. You're like a mad old bag lady.
- Santa: Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas!
- [Diana hits him with her cane]
- Santa: Oh!
- Tom: That was a good shot.
- Diana: Thank you very much.
- [last lines]
- Tom: If only you would believe, Diana. If only you had a little faith. If only you would relax and let it all sweep over you: the joy, the mystery, the happiness; it could all be yours. All you have to do is reach out, open your heart, and let it all flow in. What do you say?
- Diana: Open my heart?
- Tom: Join the human race.
- Diana: Let it all flow in?
- Tom: Feel the warmth.
- Diana: Tom. Come here.
- [he moves over]
- Diana: No no. Closer. I want to say something to you.
- Tom: [chuckles] Sweet nothings.
- Diana: Mmm.
- [yells in his ear]
- Diana: Merry Christmas!
- Tom: Aaagh!