- Jen K: I'm Jen K. There are three other Jens in the ZBZ house. Jen R, Jen B, and Jen Y. Funny, huh? Jen Y? Like, Gen Y.
- The Campus Cop: I need your noise permit for the Vesuvius party.
- Cappie: Are you yankin' me? Since when does that rule get enforced?
- The Campus Cop: Since I was hired.
- Cappie: Oh, okay. I get it. So, uh, Officer Huck. You look like you could use a little break. You wanna come in we'll set you up with a nice cold beer? That's what Officer Bob always did. Where is Good Old Bob anyway?
- The Campus Cop: Rehab.
- Cappie: Oh.
- Cappie: So you just have to avoid doing something embarrassing for 48 hours.
- Rusty Cartwright: I can do that!
- Cappie: Your fly's open.
- Ben Bennett: So David got stoned with the Philistines, cool!
- Dale: No! No, ok, David smote the Philistine with a stone. Not smoked with the Philistines and got stoned, ok! It's totally different! You go to college?!
- Casey Cartwright: Like Derek, my high school boyfriend. His mom said I was the daughter she never had, and she had a daughter. It was so awkward.
- Evan Chambers: My life has been planed out for me since I was... before I was born. You-you are the first person that has ever made me think if I had to, I'd take a detour, I'd go all the way off the map for you