- Doug Judy: I got a new job. I sit behind white CEOs when they have to testify before Congress, so they don't look so racist. Every 15 minutes I just whisper some nonsense at 'em.
- Terry Jeffords: Today is Holt's first day back in his office and I wanna make sure everything is just how he left it. Now, I can't remember, was this little figurine of Cheddar at a 45 or 50 degree angle?
- Rosa Diaz: Terry, it's a five degree difference. You better figure it out.
- Raymond Holt: Ah, I missed this place. Huh, little Cheddar's askew. You really made yourself at home, didn't you Jeffords?
- Trudy Judy: Wait, we destroyed your phone. How did you call for backup?
- Jake Peralta: That was actually easy. When Doug was distracted, yelling at the concierge, I swapped out my waterlogged phone for his.
- Doug Judy: Damn, I would have noticed that if I wasn't trying to live in the moment and not look at my phone so much.
- Jake Peralta: I bet you do know the password to the wedding website, don't you?
- Jake Peralta: Yeah, I guess.
- Jake Peralta: Well, then I guess you better tell it to me, Shane. You wash my back, I'll wash yours.
- Rosa Diaz: Wash?
- Jake Peralta: I meant scratch. You know I meant scratch.
- Doug Judy: Do you know who this is? This is Matt Daniel, the most popular male ASMR performer on Twitch.
- Georgina: ASMR performer?
- Doug Judy: Someone who speaks real soft.
- Trudy Judy: [whispers] I also crinkle paper.
- Doug Judy: We're trying to stream and the noise on the eighth floor is unacceptable.
- Trudy Judy: [whispers] My fans can't hear my mouth sounds.
- Georgina: I'm so sorry, I can't hear you.
- Trudy Judy: [whispers] That's the point, Georgina.
- Doug Judy: He says that's the point, Georgina.
- Scully: I'd rather see butts.
- Doug Judy: Fine, if I let you see butts, will you convince the guys that Jake's not a cop?
- Scully: How many butts are we talking?
- Doug Judy: Six.
- Scully: Ten.
- Doug Judy: Seven.
- Scully: Nine.
- Doug Judy: Fine, eight, I'll meet you in the middle.
- Scully: Nah, you waited too long. Now it's up to 14.