Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV Series)

Dillman (2020)

Andy Samberg: Jake Peralta

Photos 

Quotes 

• Frank Dillman : The real question is why Jeffords had glitter on him at all. Fortunately, I have the answer. I deduced that he has three young daughters, twins and a toddler.

  Jake Peralta : Big deal. You saw the picture on his desk.

  Frank Dillman : I did, and judging by the maple trees in the background of that picture, it was taken last fall. Probably mid October. The twins are smiling, each revealing a missing tooth. The twin on the right, let's call her "Twin A."

  Terry Jeffords : That's Cagney.

  Frank Dillman : Is that relevant?

  Terry Jeffords : It's her name.

  Frank Dillman : So no. Twin A is missing an upper right incisor while Twin B is missing a lower left incisor suggesting that they were seven when the photo was taken, which would put them in second grade. Spring semester of second grade is when the Brooklyn schools do their solar system unit, a highlight of which is constructing a mobile of the planets. My hypothesis is that Twin A and Twin B requested Daddy's help making Mars sparkle, hence the red glitter.

• Frank Dillman : So now I'd like to move on to a real suspect. I wanna see detective Diaz in the box.

  Jake Peralta : [Charles gasps]  What... don't gasp for him. What are you doing?

  Charles Boyle : I'm sorry. It just slipped out.

  Rosa Diaz : Title of your sex tape.

• Jake Peralta : That kind of evidence would never hold up at trial. You'd be laughed out of court.

  Frank Dillman : I've only been laughed at in court once, and that was because I made a terrific joke.

  Raymond Holt : I was there. It was hilarious.

• Jake Peralta : The point is a crime has been committed, and someone in this room did it. There are seven suspects all with means and motive. It appears what we have is a classic whodunnit.

  Raymond Holt : The phrase "whodunnit" is a grammatical abomination. Please use the proper term, a "who has done this."

  Jake Peralta : I will not.

• Jake Peralta : I'm sorry, but I'm the Prankmaster General and I take that role seriously.

• Jake Peralta : Sir, I'd like to talk to you about the new task force you're on the hiring committee for.

  Raymond Holt : The Special Tactical Operations and Auxiliary Strategic Response Citywide Emergency Investigative Unit for Emergency Operations? You know, I had a hand in naming it.

  Jake Peralta : And it's great, although you might wanna try shortening it, maybe using a cool acronym.

  Raymond Holt : So, the S.T.O.A.S.R.C.E.I.U.E.O.? Hm, you're right. That *is* cool.