- Rebecca Pearson: [as Kevin, Randall and Kate are arguing] Enough! It is our first night as a family together in our new house, and I have spent weeks getting this place together so that it would be perfect. Because this is where we move forward. This is where we sit around a table with napkins and placemats and laugh and celebrate and eat Cornish game hens. And so help me, God, that is what we are gonna do: Move forward. And it doesn't matter that I didn't have the right size pan and that the hens are all squished together and they're burnt on the top and raw on the bottom. It doesn't even matter that Kevin doesn't remember Emeril, or that I have four whole Polaroids of your wedding. So pull yourselves together, pretend you like burnt-raw food, get your whiny little asses back out in those seats, and enjoy my damn dinner.
- Ryan Sharp: Glad to finally meet the adult man my nine year old son keeps saying is one of his best friends.
- Cassidy Sharp: Okay. C'mon.
- Matty: 'Kay.
- Nicky Pearson: [after the Sharps have walked away] You really do have the strangest relationships with people.