- Brian Darling: Why the hell is Nick George coming over? This is the worst idea in the history of the western world.
- Lisa George: [about the Darlings] Please, God, tell me we'll never have to see these people again.
- Nick George: Done.
- Rev. Brian Darling: This is Nick George, our family lawyer. You better do what he says, or else... Or else you're gonna wake up tomorrow morning and find your tires slashed or something. It won't be good. I promise.
- Nick George: Where the hell are you going?
- Rev. Brian Darling: I have to go to a baptism.