The Proposal (2009) - Ryan Reynolds as Andrew Paxton

Andrew Paxton : Three days ago, I loathed you. I used to dream about you getting hit by a cab. Then we had our little adventure up in Alaska and things started to changed. Things changed when we kissed. And when you told me about your tattoo. Even when you checked me out when we were naked. But I didn't realize any of this, until I was standing alone... in a barn... wifeless. Now, you could imagine my disappointment when it suddenly dawned on me that the woman I love is about to be kicked out of the country. So Margaret, marry me, because I'd like to date you.

Margaret Tate : I am not getting in that boat!

Andrew Paxton : Fine, see you in three days.

Margaret Tate : You know I can't swim!

Andrew Paxton : Hence... the boat.

Margaret Tate : What am I allergic to?

Andrew Paxton : Pine nuts, and the full spectrum of human emotion.

Margaret Tate : [surprised to see Andrew at her office] Why are you panting?

Andrew Paxton : Cause I've been running.

Margaret Tate : From Alaska.

Andrew Paxton : We'll tell my family about our engagement when I want and how I want. Now, ask me nicely.

Margaret Tate : Ask you nicely what?

Andrew Paxton : Ask me nicely to marry you... Margaret.

Margaret Tate : What does that mean?

Andrew Paxton : You heard me. On your knee.

Margaret Tate : [she kneels] Fine. Does this work for you?

Andrew Paxton : Oh, I like this. Yeah.

Margaret Tate : Here you go. Will you marry me?

Andrew Paxton : No. Say it like you mean it.

Margaret Tate : Andrew.

Andrew Paxton : Yes, Margaret.

Margaret Tate : Sweet Andrew.

Andrew Paxton : I'm listening.

Margaret Tate : Would you please, with cherries on top, marry me?

Andrew Paxton : Ok. I don't appreciate the sarcasm, but I'll do it. See you at the airport tomorrow.

Margaret Tate : Why didn't you tell me you were some kind of Alaskan Kennedy?

Andrew Paxton : How could I ? We were in the middle of talking about you... for the last 3 years.

Margaret Tate : OK, know what ? Timeout, OK ? This bickering Bickerson thing has got to stop. People need to think that we are in love. So let's just...

Andrew Paxton : That, hey, that's no problem. I can do that. I can pretend to be the doting fiance. That's easy. But for you, that's going to require that you stop snacking on children while they dream.

Andrew Paxton : I'm not rich. My parents are rich.

Margaret Tate : Which is the kind of thing that only a rich person would say.

Andrew Paxton : Don't take this the wrong way.

Margaret Tate : OK.

Andrew Paxton : You are a very, *very* beautiful woman.

Andrew Paxton : [on the phone with his mom on why he can't come home for the weekend] I know. I know. Tell Gammie I'm sorry. What do you want me to tell you, she's making me work late again. I've worked to hard for this and I'm sure that dad is pissed.

[seeing Margaret come towards him]

Andrew Paxton : But we take all our submissions very seriously and we'll get back to you as soon as we can.

Margaret Tate : Was that your family?

Andrew Paxton : Yes.

Margaret Tate : Tell you to quit.

Andrew Paxton : Every single day.

Andrew Paxton : [referring to the story about how he proposed to Margaret] You know what? Actually, Margaret loves telling this story, so I'm just gonna let her go ahead and do that. We should just sit and rapture.

Margaret Tate : Wow, okay... wow, where to begin... the story... Well, um, wow... Okay, well, um, Andrew and I... Andrew and I were about to celebrate our first anniversary together and I knew that he'd been itching to ask me to marry him and he was scared, like a little tiny bird. So, I started leaving him little hints here and there because I knew he wouldn't have the guts to ask...

Andrew Paxton : That's not exactly how it happened.

Margaret Tate : No?

Andrew Paxton : No, no, I mean I picked up on all of her little hints... this woman is about as subtle as a gun. Yeah, no what I was worried about was that she might find this little box...

Margaret Tate : Oh, the decoupage box that he made, where he'd taken the time to cut out twenty little pictures of himself, just pasted all over the box. So beautiful! I opened that beautiful little decoupage and out fluttered these tiny little hand cut heart confettis and once they cleared, I looked down and I saw the most beautiful, big...

Andrew Paxton : ...fat nothing! No ring.

Grandma Annie : No ring?

Grace Paxton : What?

Andrew Paxton : No, but inside that box, underneath all that crap, a handwritten note with the address to a hotel, date and time. Real Humphrey Bogart type stuff. Masculine. Naturally, Margaret, she thought...

Margaret Tate : I thought he was seeing someone else... so it was a terrible time for me, but I went to that hotel anyway, I went there and I pounded on the door. But the door was already unlocked. As I swung open that door, there he was...

Andrew Paxton : Standing.

Margaret Tate : Kneeling.

Andrew Paxton : Like a man.

Margaret Tate : On a bed of rosebuds, in a tuxedo. Your son. Your son... and he was choking back soft, soft sobs. And when he held back the tears and finally caught his breath, he said to me...

Andrew Paxton : 'Margaret, will you marry me?' and she said 'yep', the end!

Margaret Tate : Andrew! Andrew! Andrew!

[throws a pillow at him, waking him up]

Margaret Tate : [whispering] Your mother's at the door, get up here! Get up here!

Margaret Tate : [to Andrew's mother] Just a second!

[Andrew throws his pillow and blanket at her]

Margaret Tate : [whispering as she takes Andrew's blankets off the bed] Baby blanket, get it off, get it off...

Margaret Tate : [Andrew gets close to her, as if they were sleeping together, as she feels something] Oh my God, what is that?

Andrew Paxton : I'm sorry... it's morning!

Margaret Tate : What do you mean it's morning?

[Andrew rolls his eyes, as the meaning is obvious]

Andrew Paxton : Fun fact about Andrew number 11: I like Pringles.

Margaret Tate : Okay.

Andrew Paxton : They're delicious. All Hostess products. Coke, never Pepsi, and beef jerky.

Margaret Tate : What, are you, like, 13?

Margaret Tate : I have never farted in front of him. Nor will I ever fart in front of him.

Andrew Paxton : She farts in her sleep.

Andrew Paxton : [as Margaret slowly descends the ladder to the dock] Congratulations. I'm a hundred.

Margaret Tate : Who is Jillian? And why does she want me to call her?

[shows Andrew the phone in the coffee cup]

Andrew Paxton : Well, that was originally my cup.

Margaret Tate : And I'm drinking your coffee why?

Andrew Paxton : Because your coffee spilled.

Margaret Tate : [tastes coffee] So you drink unsweetened cinammom light soy lattes.

Andrew Paxton : I do. It's like Christmas in a cup.

Margaret Tate : Is that a coincidence?

Andrew Paxton : Incredibly, it is. I mean, I wouldn't possibly drink the same coffee that you drink just in case yours spilled, that would be pathetic.

[phone rings]

Andrew Paxton : Morning! Miss Tate's office.

Andrew Paxton : Margaret, will you marry me? Because I'd like to date you.

Margaret Tate : Listen carefully Bob. I didn't fire you because I felt threatened. No. I fired you because you're lazy, entitled, incompetent and you spend more time cheating on your wife than you do in your office. And if you say another word Andrew here is going to have you thrown out on your ass - O.K.?

[Bob Spaulding motions]

Margaret Tate : Another word and you're out of here with an armed escort. Andrew will film it on his little cameraphone and put it on that Internet site.

[to Andrew]

Margaret Tate : What's that?

Andrew Paxton : YouTube.

Margaret Tate : Exactly. Is that what you want?

[Bob Spaulding shakes head no]

Margaret Tate : Didn't think so. I have work to do.

Andrew Paxton : [upon seeing the puppy run out of the bathroom] Wow. Barely made it out with my life. I mean, did you see those teeths?

Andrew Paxton : Why are you WET?

Margaret Tate : Why are you NAKED?

Margaret Tate : [after giving Andrew instructions on the Alaska weekend] Why aren't you taking notes?

Andrew Paxton : I'm sorry, were you not in that room?

Margaret Tate : What? Oh, oh, the thing you said about being promoted? Genius, genius. He completely fell for it.

Andrew Paxton : I was serious. I'm looking at a 250,000 dollar fine and 5 years in jail, that changes things.

Margaret Tate : Promote you to editor? No way.

Andrew Paxton : Then I quit and you're screwed. Bye bye, Margaret.

Margaret Tate : Andrew! Andrew! Fine! Fine. I'll make you editor, fine. If you do the Alaska weekend and the immigration interview, I'll make you... I'll make you editor. Happy?

Andrew Paxton : Not in two years, right away.

Margaret Tate : Fine.

Andrew Paxton : And you'll publish my manuscript.

Margaret Tate : 10,000 copies first run.

Andrew Paxton : 20,000 copies first run.

Margaret Tate : They are going to make Bob chief.

Andrew Paxton : So, naturally, I would have to marry you?

Andrew Paxton : C'mon. Let's go. My grandma's moving faster than you.

[first lines]

Andrew Paxton : Shit!

Margaret Tate : [on sleeping in the same bedroom with Andrew] We love to snuggle. Don't we honey?

Andrew Paxton : [sarcastically] Huge snugglers.

Andrew Paxton : That's the hell of a first impression, Dad.

Joe Paxton : What the hell, Andrew? You show up here after all this time with this woman you hated, and now she's your girlfriend?

Andrew Paxton : We just got here. Can we wait two seconds before we throw the kitchen sink at each other?

Joe Paxton : Just never figured you for a guy who slept his way to the middle.

Andrew Paxton : Actually, I'll have you know that that woman in there is one of the most respected editors in town.

Joe Paxton : She's your meal ticket, and you brought her home to meet your mother.

Andrew Paxton : No, she's not my meal ticket, Dad. She's my fiancée.

Joe Paxton : What'd you say?

Andrew Paxton : You heard me. I'm getting married.

Andrew Paxton : I have a bad feeling about this.

Mrs. McKittrick : So I wanted to know, what does a book editor do?

Joe Paxton : That's a great question, Louise. I'm curious to know the answer myself.

Andrew Paxton : Hello, Dad.

Joe Paxton : Son.

[turns to Margaret]

Joe Paxton : This must be Maggie.

Margaret Tate : Uh, Margaret.

Joe Paxton : Joe. Pleasure to meet you.

Margaret Tate : Pleasure's mine.

Joe Paxton : So why don't you tell us exactly what a book editor does. Besides taking writers out to lunch and getting bombed.

Mrs. McKittrick : Now that sounds like fun. No wonder you like being an editor.

Joe Paxton : No, Louise. Andrew's not an editor, he's an editor's assistant. Maggie here is the editor.

Margaret Tate : Margaret.

Jim McKittrick : So you're actually... Andrew's boss. Yeah. Well. How about that.

Joe Paxton : I think I'll get a refill.

[walks off]

Margaret Tate : Charming.

Andrew Paxton : You want to see me?

Joe Paxton : Your mom found these eco-balls. They dissolve in water. I don't know how she comes up with this stuff. Anyway, she, uh... is a little peeved. Apparently, I wasn't the most gracious of hosts last night. It was a little bit of a shock to find out that you're getting married especially when none of us even knew you were dating. The point is... I owe you an apology.

Andrew Paxton : Accepted.

Joe Paxton : There's something else. I've been going over my retirement plans recently, and it got me thinking. I've done a lot of things in my life. Practically built an empire with your mother from the ground up. It doesn't mean anything unless...

Andrew Paxton : Unless you have someone to leave it to. We already discussed this.

Joe Paxton : I'd like to discuss it again. You have responsibilities here. I think I've been more than understanding about your goofing off in New York. I need you to quit playing around and come home.

Andrew Paxton : Here we go again. When are you going to start taking what I do seriously?

Joe Paxton : Well, when you start acting seriously.

Andrew Paxton : I'm sorry. I feel sorry for you, Dad. I wish you had another son. I really do. One who wanted to stay here. One who wanted to take over the family business. One who wanted to marry someone that you approve of, but it's not me. Now, it must seem strange to you, my life in New York, sitting in an office, reading books. But it makes me happy. You understand?

Joe Paxton : If that's what makes you happy, son, I got nothing to say.

Andrew Paxton : Well, that's a first. You know what? Apology not accepted. Have fun out here.

Grandma Annie : There he is!

Grace Paxton : Andrew!

Andrew Paxton : Hi!

Grace Paxton : Oh! It's so good to see you!

Grandma Annie : You're suffocating him, Grace.

[to Andrew]

Grandma Annie : Come here.

Andrew Paxton : Ah, Gammy. How are you doing?

[to Grace]

Andrew Paxton : Where's Dad?