He doesn't need it, but I find myself very protective of Bruno Mattei.
Sure, his movies are objectively not good, but he's always entertained me. I find myself just so amused by the fact that he would blatantly steal not just concepts but whole movies and even footage that I can't dislike his movies. In fact, I find myself getting angry at anyone who doesn't find him just as funny as me. How can people have no sense of joy?
Anyways, I don't have many of his films left as first-time watches - the ones that remain are La provinciale a lezione di sesso and Orient Escape, which are not on Letterboxd and Armida, il dramma di una sposa; Sesso Perverso, Mondo Violento; Uno storico pasticcio and the sequel to this movie. All of those movies have been seen by under a hundred people on Letterboxd combined, so needlessly to say I've been on the hunt for all of them.
This film - Secrets of a Woman - is an aberration in that its a softcore sex movie made in 2005, an era where actual pornography is available without needing to look for it. Yet here's Bruno Mattei, 74 years old and making shot on video adult cinema for someone, anyone who wants it.
American sexologist Nicole Wilson (Kathy Novak, who is in exactly this one movie and nothing else) has traveled to the Far East with her assistant and translator Jane Dimao (Yvette Yzon, who stars in most of Mattei's movies from the mid 2000s video era, including Island of the Living Dead, Zombies: The Beginning and The Jail: The Women's Hell). She's been invited by Professor George Woo (Robert Davis) to study the sexual fantasies of Asian women.
Writer Antonio Tentori worked with plenty of Italian genre masters in the twilight - literally, the guy wrote Dracula 3D - of their careers. He wrote Cat In the Brain and Demonia for Fulci, Frankenstein 2000 for D'Amato and most of the Philippines-shot Mattei movies before writing movies like Catacomba, Nightmare Symphony, Flesh Contagium and Come una crisalide.
The investigation of these fantasies allows for Mattei to seemingly take scenes directly from other movies. I apologize - I forgot to use his name for this film - Pierre Le Blanc directed this. Or remixed it, really. I have no idea where these scenes come from but they're often different quality and even film stocks, which for the non-one handed watchers in the audience can be very disconcerting. Also, since this is a mid 2000s movie, some of the music seemingly is straight up ballad pop punk stuff instead of being what you'd expect. Well, I'd say library music, but I've also seen films where Mattei goes Godfrey Ho and just starts grabbing music from other films as if to dare lawyers to send him a cease and desist. Sadly, he never plays progressive rock deep cuts and early synth artists like Godfrey.
So yeah, this is not a good movie at all. It'll remind you of Cinemax After Dark stuff you watched if you grew up in the 80s and 90s before the era of easily obtainable nudity. But you know, I'll also defend it like I would that kid who has big thick taped up glasses and is on the spectrum. Such is the way I feel of Bruno. Or Vincent Dawn. Or David Hunt.
I could - and will - go on.
Sure, his movies are objectively not good, but he's always entertained me. I find myself just so amused by the fact that he would blatantly steal not just concepts but whole movies and even footage that I can't dislike his movies. In fact, I find myself getting angry at anyone who doesn't find him just as funny as me. How can people have no sense of joy?
Anyways, I don't have many of his films left as first-time watches - the ones that remain are La provinciale a lezione di sesso and Orient Escape, which are not on Letterboxd and Armida, il dramma di una sposa; Sesso Perverso, Mondo Violento; Uno storico pasticcio and the sequel to this movie. All of those movies have been seen by under a hundred people on Letterboxd combined, so needlessly to say I've been on the hunt for all of them.
This film - Secrets of a Woman - is an aberration in that its a softcore sex movie made in 2005, an era where actual pornography is available without needing to look for it. Yet here's Bruno Mattei, 74 years old and making shot on video adult cinema for someone, anyone who wants it.
American sexologist Nicole Wilson (Kathy Novak, who is in exactly this one movie and nothing else) has traveled to the Far East with her assistant and translator Jane Dimao (Yvette Yzon, who stars in most of Mattei's movies from the mid 2000s video era, including Island of the Living Dead, Zombies: The Beginning and The Jail: The Women's Hell). She's been invited by Professor George Woo (Robert Davis) to study the sexual fantasies of Asian women.
Writer Antonio Tentori worked with plenty of Italian genre masters in the twilight - literally, the guy wrote Dracula 3D - of their careers. He wrote Cat In the Brain and Demonia for Fulci, Frankenstein 2000 for D'Amato and most of the Philippines-shot Mattei movies before writing movies like Catacomba, Nightmare Symphony, Flesh Contagium and Come una crisalide.
The investigation of these fantasies allows for Mattei to seemingly take scenes directly from other movies. I apologize - I forgot to use his name for this film - Pierre Le Blanc directed this. Or remixed it, really. I have no idea where these scenes come from but they're often different quality and even film stocks, which for the non-one handed watchers in the audience can be very disconcerting. Also, since this is a mid 2000s movie, some of the music seemingly is straight up ballad pop punk stuff instead of being what you'd expect. Well, I'd say library music, but I've also seen films where Mattei goes Godfrey Ho and just starts grabbing music from other films as if to dare lawyers to send him a cease and desist. Sadly, he never plays progressive rock deep cuts and early synth artists like Godfrey.
So yeah, this is not a good movie at all. It'll remind you of Cinemax After Dark stuff you watched if you grew up in the 80s and 90s before the era of easily obtainable nudity. But you know, I'll also defend it like I would that kid who has big thick taped up glasses and is on the spectrum. Such is the way I feel of Bruno. Or Vincent Dawn. Or David Hunt.
I could - and will - go on.
