My Family (TV Series)

Life Begins at Fifty (2007)

Nichola McAuliffe: Judge

Quotes 

• Judge : Crown v Susan Harper. Who's representing Mrs Harper?

  Ben Harper : I am, your honour.

  Judge : Er... Oh. I don't believe we've met before. Are you a solicitor or a barrister?

  Ben Harper : I'm a dentist.

• Ben Harper : Mr Barker, on the day of the incident, had you, erm... been drinking at all?

  Store Detective : No.

  Ben Harper : Really? But you yourself said the incident took place at... 2.30pm after lunch.

  Store Detective : Yes.

  Ben Harper : Really? Are you seriously standing here in a court of law under oath while suggesting you do not drink at lunchtime?

  Store Detective : That's right.

  Ben Harper : Your honour, please! How much more of this must we sit through? Everyone has a drink at lunchtime! Mmm! I myself have an absolute minimum of two pints!

  Judge : Before performing dental work on your patients?

  Ben Harper : Erm...

  [Mumbles in embarrassment] 

• Judge : I am dismissing this case. Mrs Harper, you are free to leave. Being married to him, I'm surprised you're not up on a murder charge! Because Mr Harper, you are one of the most arrogant, ignorant, opinionated men it has ever been my misfortune to encounter! And I worked at The Hague trying war criminals!