- Dwayne F. Schneider: Ain't it wonderful. Max and Julie married, and off on an old-fashioned honeymoon.
- Ann Romano: What d'ya mean, old-fashioned?
- Dwayne F. Schneider: *After* the wedding.
- Dwayne F. Schneider: [delivering belated wedding presents sent by mail] We got here a toaster. That's worth 19 bucks. This here is a bathroom scale. That's worth about 35 bucks.
- Dwayne F. Schneider: [holding an unopened envelope to his forehead] And we have a, ummmmm, a $20.- bill. That's worth about $4.50.