- Barbara Cooper: [Schneider has been trying to decide whether to become a sperm donor for his close friends] Have you made up your mind?
- Dwayne F. Schneider: I tell ya somethin', this morning, y'know, I was standin' under the shower, y'know, and suddenly thought about that old Biblical saying...
- Barbara Cooper: 'Turn the other cheek?'
- Dwayne F. Schneider: Yeah, close. No, the one I thought about was, 'Be fruitful and multiply.' There's a lot to that... Y'know, if I do this... *IF* I do this, I'd be kinda like the Good Inseminarian.
- Ann Romano: You do have a way with words, Schneider.