- Beerbelly: Alex is comin' down? Why didn't y'tell us, Schneider?... If I wanted to play cards with a kid, I'd'a practiced up on my Go Fish.
- Dwayne F. Schneider: Listen, from time immemorial, it has been the responsibility of the old bulls to teach the young bucks the difference between eatin' hay and chewin' your cud.
- Mark Royer: [mildly sarcastic] I couldn't have said it better myself.
- Beerbelly: What the heck did he say?
- Tony: I dunno. Sounds like a lot of bull.
- Dwayne F. Schneider: [discussing Alex's lack of male influence with the guys at a poker game] I mean, look at the facts. All the people in his life right now are women. I mean, there's... there's Barbara, Ms Romano, prob'ly most of his teachers at school, and his grandma, Francine, Julie when she's in town.
- Beerbelly: Gee, the kid could turn weird from the smell of the perfume alone.
- Dwayne F. Schneider: [defending himself for bringing Alex to a mud-wrestling match at the Lodge] Ms Romano, there are certain things that a guy can only do with other guys. It's part of the manhood ritual, y'know, like dumpin' garbage on your English teacher's porch, or maybe tippin' over outhouses.