- Bert Large: Why is it, exactly, do you think that I'm unhappy all the time? I know that's a hard one.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: No, it isn't. You're lonely, bored, unloved, and past your prime, if you ever had a prime.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: I want a word with you.
- Pauline Lamb: Let me guess. "You're fired".
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: That's two words.
- Pauline Lamb: But I am though, aren't I? That is so unfair. I told you...
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: Phlebotomy.
- Pauline Lamb: What?
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: Phlebotomy.
- Pauline Lamb: I don't know what that means.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: You clearly don't have a problem dealing with blood. I want you to go on this course. It's in Truro next week. They'll show you how to find a vein, how insert a needle into a patient, and how to draw blood for nurses. I'll tell you who to bleed, but, uh, you'll be in charge of the actual bleeding.
- PC Penhale: He wouldn't come quietly, so I started to put the cuffs on. He runs out into the yard, I chase after him, trip-up, fall under his horse. When I wake up, the paramedic tells me that he kicked me in the head. The horse, not the paramedic.
- Pauline Lamb: I just told him what it said on the website.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: Which website was this, I-keep-forgetting-I'm-just-a-receptionist-dot-com? If anyone has a medical problem, refer them to me. I'm the doctor.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: I have patients to see. This consultation's over.
- Alison Lane: [about her daughter Delph] But you haven't told me what's wrong with her yet.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: She's very annoying.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: [Seeing her out] Goodbye, Mrs. Lane.
- Alison Lane: It's not "Mrs." I'm divorced.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: I'm not surprised.