[First lines]
Chandler Canterbury: [singing] We all heard what happened at the Cinemark today!/When Sandler made that crappy film, you snapped and walked away!/ But maybe he's on to something that you should give a try!/ How about you take a look at Eight Crazy Nights!
Percy Longstockings: [singing] Let it out, Robby!
Rob: Aw shut your goddamn mouths!
Justin Competent: [singing] Let it out, Robby!
Rob: I will eat your mother out!
Percy Longstockings: Aw such a prankster!
Rob: [singing] You want me to review this crap?/Well 'no' is what I say!
Arthur McCollins: [singing] That attitude will make the month suck and then just walk away.
Reginald Duworthy: [singing] You try act so angry.
Whitey G. Wiggerman: [singing] But it's not even that bad!
Eugene Nevillson: [singing] Why don't you have an open mind and watch this pile of crap.
Percy Longstockings: [singing] Let it out, Robby!
Rob: I'll punch you in the dick!
Percy Longstockings: Ooh!
Arthur McCollins: [singing] Let it out, Robby!
Rob: I'll hit you with a brick!
Rob: [singing] You bunch of loonies are wasting your time, trying to make me sit/Cause nothing you can say or do will make me watch this shit!
Chandler Canterbury: He's a stubborn son of a bitch!/And he won't even shift bro!
Arthur McCollins: [singing] But he's gonna give in anyway... /So just play us the intro!