- [last lines]
- Thirteen: What the hell is this?
- Dr. Gregory House: Looks like an envelope with the results for the genetic test for Huntington's inside.
- Thirteen: Did you look?
- Dr. Gregory House: Thought it would be fun to find out together.
- Thirteen: I don't want to know.
- Dr. Gregory House: No, you're afraid to know.
- Thirteen: I might die. So could you. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow, the only difference is you don't have to know about it today, so why should I?
- Dr. Gregory House: I don't have to know the lottery numbers, but if someone offered them to me I'd take them.
- Thirteen: You spend your whole life looking for answers, because you think the next answer will change something, maybe make you a little less miserable. And you know that when you run out of questions you don't just run out of answers, you run out of hope. You glad you know that?
- Dr. Gregory House: I need you to bring me the thong of Lisa Cuddy.
- [applicants stare at him in disbelief]
- Dr. Gregory House: Not kidding. Thong. Cuddy. Go!
- [applicants reluctantly walk away, looking at Foreman as if waiting for approval]
- Dr. Eric Foreman: That's how I got hired.
- Dr. Gregory House: Ladies and Gentlemen! I have nothing in my hands, nothing up my sleeve. I do have something in my pants, but that's not going to help with this particular trick.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Flynn] You eat a lot of beets, you have an electric toothbrush and you sleep less than six hours at night.
- Flynn: That's impressive.
- Dr. Gregory House: The red betanin from the beets stains the plaque deposits on your teeth which are then swirled by your spinning toothbrush. Your heavy lids and your prematurely aging skin tell me that you're carrying a major sleep debt.
- Flynn: That was way cooler before you explained it.
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: No valvular regurgitation. No wall-motion abnormalities. No structural defects.
- Flynn: If you didn't sound so despondent, I'd say that was good news.
- Thirteen: It is for you. Not for him. Notice any heaviness in your legs the last couple days?
- Flynn: [to Kutner] Why isn't it good news for you?
- Thirteen: Because if there's nothing wrong with you, he gets fired.
- Flynn: Seriously?
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Somewhat seriously. Your legs?
- Flynn: A fungus in my lungs? How would I even get something like that?
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Right now it's just a theory. We don't even know if it's...
- Flynn: Gah, I knew I shouldn't have done those mushrooms in college.
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: I'm sure there's no connection.
- Flynn: It was a joke. You really lose your sense of humor when your job's on the line, hm?
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Sorry. Most dying people don't really like to...
- [Flynn glares at him]
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: ... not that you're dying.
- Flynn: But a little sick would be perfect, right?
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: [to Amber] So you're not wearing any underwear?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Uh, there's a guy bleeding.
- Dr. Gregory House: Foreman. She's not wearing any underwear. You used to be more fun.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: She's not wearing any underwear. Big deal. When she stops wearing clothes, then we can drop the medical stuff.
- Dr. Gregory House: Would've been more impressive if he'd predicted that he wasn't gonna die. Course, that takes longer to prove.
- Thirteen: What'd you drug him with?
- Dr. Jeffrey 'Big Love' Cole: Amber's nickname is "Cutthroat Bitch" and you're pointing at me?
- Dr. Chris Taub: Ahem.
- [holds up a pair of black panties]
- Dr. Chris Taub: Eau de Cuddy.
- Dr. Jeffrey 'Big Love' Cole: No way. How did you get them?
- Dr. Chris Taub: Only one way.
- [throws the panties to Cole and House catches them with his cane]
- Dr. Gregory House: These are not Cuddy's panties.
- Dr. Chris Taub: You don't think that I...
- Dr. Gregory House: No. Also, she's wearing a red bra today.
- [Everyone looks at House]
- Dr. Gregory House: Like I'm the only one who noticed. Means the downstairs will match.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Do your research, people. An intestinal infarct could be linked to the cardiac arrest.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Amber] Hike up your skirt.
- Dr. Amber Volakis: Wow, that's rude even for you.
- Dr. Gregory House: Hike it down then.
- Dr. Jeffrey 'Big Love' Cole: What about the underwear challenge?
- Dr. Gregory House: I declare it officially on hold.
- Dr. Jeffrey 'Big Love' Cole: Not really fair, but I get it.
- [he throws a pair of red panties on the table; everyone is surprised; House looks at Amber, and Amber stands up and pulls her skirt down a little to show that she is still wearing her panties; House looks over at Thirteen, who has a disgusted look on her face]
- Dr. Jeffrey 'Big Love' Cole: It's Cuddy's.
- Dr. Gregory House: Pull down your pants.
- Dr. Jeffrey 'Big Love' Cole: You think I'm lying?
- Dr. Gregory House: No, I want to give you a reward. Yes, I think you're lying.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Thirteen] Doctors often try to ignore their symptoms because they think they can't get sick. If you've got something going on, I need you to take care of it.
- Thirteen: And I take your compassion entirely at face value.
- Dr. Gregory House: It's not compassion. It's self interest. I want my team healthy.
- Thirteen: It's not self interest. It's curiosity. I dropped a file, House. I start bleeding from the eyes, I'll be sure to make an appointment.
- Dr. Gregory House: [When House checks out Cuddy's butt after he drops his Vicodin and Cuddy bends down to pick it up] Oh. My. God.
- [Cuddy looks at him]
- Dr. Gregory House: You're not wearing underwear.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Of course I'm...
- Dr. Gregory House: Skirt that tight, you've got no secrets. Skirt that tight, I can tell if you've got an IUD. You seen Dr. Cole?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: No.
- Dr. Gregory House: You're blushing.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I am not.
- Dr. Gregory House: Look at me.
- [Cuddy looks up at him for a second and House looks into her eyes as he grabs the pills from her]
- Dr. Gregory House: Oh! My! God!
- Dr. Jeffrey 'Big Love' Cole: If I could just get the immunity, I would...
- Dr. Gregory House: No, Sophie, you can't.
- Dr. James Wilson: [to House] You know, in some cultures, hiring people to steal someone's underpants is considered wooing. You should move there because here it's just, you know, creepy.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Cole] You made a deal with Cuddy. That's how you got her underwear. She sold it to you for the right to put her choices on the block.
- Dr. Jeffrey 'Big Love' Cole: You said get her underwear, I got it.
- Dr. Gregory House: Your scheme was brilliant... and you're fired.
- Dr. Jeffrey 'Big Love' Cole: You're all about breaking the rules.
- Dr. Gregory House: Her rules, not mine. The whole point of this was to subvert Cuddy. You became her partner, gave her power she didn't already have. Let her greedy fingers into my cookie jar which sadly is not as dirty as it sounds. Thanks for playing.
- Dr. James Wilson: Stopped by the lab. Your mutinous team is starting to worry about life on Pitcairn Island.