Black Dynamite (2009)

Darrel Heath: Militant 2

Quotes 

• Bullhorn : Man, you guys ain't had no waffles like these. These waffles are so good, they're like they come from down South. These buttery motherfuckers will melt in your mouth. Man you ain't had no waffles...

  Black Dynamite : Wait! Bullhorn, what did you just say? You said, 'Melts in your mouth'. Quick...

  [erases the restaurant menu blackboard] 

  Black Dynamite : What else melts in your mouth?

  Cream Corn : M&M's!

  Black Dynamite : Exactly. And not in your hands. And who makes M&M's?

  Militant #3 : Mars Candy Company make it. Yeah, yeah.

  Black Dynamite : And Mars is also...

  Saheed : The Roman God of War.

  Black Dynamite : Who is the Greek God of War?

  Militant 2 : Ares.

  Black Dynamite : Now, you take Mars and spell it backwards, drop the S.

  Cream Corn : Ram. That's right. And ram is the zodialogical sign for Aries. Oh! Now dig. Ares' half-sister is Athena.

  Black Dynamite : Now you're getting it.

  Cream Corn : Whoa, whoa, whoa. Athena, Athens.

  Saheed : Which is the capital of Greece.

  Black Dynamite : And as we all know, zodialogical astronomy was created by the Greeks in...

  Cream Corn , Saheed , Militant 2 , Militant #3 : 785 B.C.

  Militant 2 : And 785 is the area code to Topeka. Oh, my God. 785 is the area code to Topeka, Kansas!

  Bullhorn , Cream Corn , Saheed , Militant 2 , Militant #3 : Code Kansas!

  Black Dynamite : Now take that, spell it backwards and drop the S.

  Militant #3 : Snake doc. Snake doctor, yeah!

  Black Dynamite : Yes. And brothers, who is the Greek Demigod of Medicine who believed that snakes' tongues had mystical healing powers?

  Cream Corn : Aesculapius, of course. He had a staff with snakes intertwining all around that bitch. They called it Aesculapius' staff. It's a symbol the medical field uses to this day.

  Black Dynamite : Now, what legend involving snakes is in both Greek and Roman mythology? Now, come on. It involves Aesculapius' own father.

  Woman at table : Apollo.

  Black Dynamite : Yeah. Thanks, lady.

• Saheed : That's right. Apollo slew the serpent at Delphi, which was a big-ass snake.

  Black Dynamite : And what, brothers, is the biggest snake in the world?

  Woman at table : The South American anaconda.

  Black Dynamite : What she said.

  Cream Corn , Saheed , Militant 2 , Militant #3 : Anaconda Malt Liquor!

  Black Dynamite : And what is the slogan for Anaconda Malt Liquor? Anaconda Malt Liquor gives you...

  Cream Corn , Saheed , Militant 2 , Militant #3 : WHOOOOO!

  Black Dynamite : Gives you what?

  Cream Corn , Saheed , Militant 2 , Militant #3 : WHOOOOO!

  Black Dynamite : And who else is famous for...

  Cream Corn , Saheed , Militant 2 , Militant #3 : WHOOOOO! Little Richard!

  Black Dynamite : Who?

  Cream Corn , Saheed , Militant 2 , Militant #3 : Little Richard!

  Black Dynamite : So, what they're really saying is...

  Cream Corn , Saheed , Militant 2 , Militant #3 : Anaconda Malt Liquor gives you... Little Richard?

  Black Dynamite : What is another word for Richard?

  [Black Dynamite crosses out 'Richard' on the blackboard. The gang look down on their pants] 

  Cream Corn , Saheed , Militant 2 , Militant #3 : Gunsmoke!

  [the gang run out of the diner towards Gunsmoke's apartment] 

• [Black Dynamite walks into the militant group's hideout] 

  Black Dynamite : Excuse me, brothers.

  Militant #3 : [Gets up]  The militants turn, startled. This is private. How'd you get in here?

  Black Dynamite : I walked in.

  Militant 2 : So you one of them sneaky brothers, huh? Or maybe you an undercover pig. Or maybe you just a federal hitman.

  Black Dynamite : If I was, you cats would already be dead. Now let me speak to the man in charge.

  Militant #3 : Sarcastically, I'm in charge.

  [Exchanges hi-fives with the other militant] 

  Black Dynamite : If you were in charge, the people might as well surrender to whitey right now, because your survival skills ain't worth a damn.

  Saheed : Black Dynamite.

  [Walks into the room] 

  Saheed : It's been a long time, my brother.

  Black Dynamite : [Exchanging hi-fives with Saheed]  What it is, Saheed?

  Militant 2 : You know this Uncle Tom?

  Black Dynamite : Listen sucka, I'm blacker than the ace of spades and more militant than you and your whole damn army put together. While you out there, chanting at rallies and brow-beating politicians, I'm taking out any money-fronting sucka on a humble that gets in my way. So I tell you what, when your so called revolution starts, you call me, and I'll be right down front showing you how it's done. But until then, you need to SHUT the FUCK UP when grown folks is talking.

  Militant 2 : I'm sorry.

  Saheed : Yeah, we heard about what went down at the Hip Pocket. That was righteous.

  Black Dynamite : That was personal, brother.

  Saheed : Personal or not, you saved a lot of brothers and sisters. You need our help,

  [pounds chest with right fist] 

  Saheed : we're here.

  Black Dynamite : I can dig it.

  [Black Dynamite pulls the bullet casing from his pocket] 

  Black Dynamite : What can you tell me about this?

  [Saheed takes the casing, sniffs the inside for gunpowder and licks the outer casing] 

  Saheed : I ain't seen one of these in a while.

  [Black Dynamite and Saheed walk out of the room] 

  Militant 2 : [Whispers]  I was gonna fuck him up.

• Black Dynamite : Lemme speak to the man in charge.

  Militant 2 : Sarcastically, I'm in charge.

• Militant 2 : You know, when we get back home, I'm gonna retire from the revolution... start a family. Shows picture.

  [holds up a small piece of paper] 

  Militant 2 : That's Betty Jo. Yeah... right on, yeah. Buy a home in the country. Raise our own fruits and vegetables! Bake our own bread, you know what I mean? Bake our own...

  [gets impaled by a Chinese spear] 

  Militant 2 : Argh!

  [Drops dead] 

  Black Dynamite : Who saw that comin' -- uh, who saw where that came from?